Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me to her apartment for "Taco Tuesday date night", saying that she had "homemade tacos." She actually made homemade tacos for us to eat for dinner. Oh, and she was on her period. Fantasy ruined. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
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Top comments
EternalRest 5
At least you know she was looking forward to having sex with you?
metallica_wins 20
Well, hormones are a bitch.
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Comments (176)
buddy_J 16
Is it bad when I came across this comment the YLS count was at 6666
masterof1 7
Her mouth still works, and her but, and his fingers
Dt33345 13
Just make it up to her when her period is over. Have lots of belated birthday sex.
TheDrifter 24
Preferably in the shower, red wings get messy.
MixMastaKDizzle 12
Shower time man
gameover18 17
be like Moses and part the red sea with your magic stick.
scice03 8
...I think it would be more of a FML if she came out cheering because she didn't have to have sex with you since she was on her period. At least she was upset that she can't do it!
worldclassrager 41
Can't you wait for ten days or so and have it a belated gift if that's a good word for it...
tdatapina 4
so is it the crying our the period that's the fml?
chippy713 1
tell her about a product called instead. it is a cup that goes inside that collects everything at the cervix. you could've had clean sex on her bday if she was wearing that. better than a pad or tampon. not many women know about it but it is AWESOME!!!
SarahBearah1995 11
Softcups and diva cups do the same thing:) they're great, but reaaallllly messy to take out.