Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me to her apartment for "Taco Tuesday date night", saying that she had "homemade tacos." She actually made homemade tacos for us to eat for dinner. Oh, and she was on her period. Fantasy ruined. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
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Top comments
EternalRest 5
At least you know she was looking forward to having sex with you?
metallica_wins 20
Well, hormones are a bitch.
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Comments (176)
dmklake 14
I guess she really wanted to have sex
Bludude4 10
Time to earn your red stripes...
nyikkins 11
Why is birthday sex such a big thing? Do people only have sex on special occasions these days?
Rozay333 36
Idk why everyone says you can't have sex while on your period. Thats actually the best time to do it, to avoid pregnancy.
PrinceKitsoon 7
A woman actually can get pregnant while on their period, the chances are not as high when not on a period but it's still possible. Besides who wants to stick their dick in old smelly blood and if your thinking of anal maybe but some women can experience loose stool during their period. Obviously a condom would be used but you'll still have to handle that after you're done. There is also the fact that it just plain hurts when a woman has her period.
bizarre_ftw 22
You know, in a lot of ways you were complimented on your sexual skill in front of a lot of people. Worse things have happened to significant others when their girlfriends go on their period
twelve_oh_seven 11
****?
Pauline96_fml 20
You could try anal for you birthday as a last resort
PhoenixKyttyn 8
At least she was looking forward to being intimate with you. I call that a win in my book. You do such a good job that she cries when she can't have you! :D
carebear97 1
Who ever decided that you can't have sex on your period?? It's so ridiculous! Women actually experience more pleasure during their period because of the increase of blood in the genital area, the pleasure can relieve any cramps, it can make her feel sexy during the time of the month when she would usually feel un-sexy, it adds more lubrication, and it reduces the risk of getting pregnant.
limabeans101029 21
Some people just aren't into it. As much as I love sex, I wouldn't have sex on my period even if my boyfriend offered
taurosx3 2
Use a condom, what's the problem?