Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me to her apartment for "Taco Tuesday date night", saying that she had "homemade tacos." She actually made homemade tacos for us to eat for dinner. Oh, and she was on her period. Fantasy ruined. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
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Top comments
EternalRest 5
At least you know she was looking forward to having sex with you?
metallica_wins 20
Well, hormones are a bitch.
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Comments (176)
Laith 12
Handjob would help!
DotDootyDot 17
It's HER birthday, why would she give pleasure to him alone?
Kizeree 2
Period sex has been some of the most sex ever!
zandalee 20
I agree. Is weird but true. :-)
KinkyCurly 13
I hate when that happens. I feel your gf... being on your period sucks! And although some people don't mind.. some of us others just don't get turned on with the idea of having sex while on our periods. I have no problem with those who do, it just doesn't float my boat.
kaytasha 18
Statistics show that women are more horny when on their periods
oneofthosegirls_fml 11
Well, those statistics are obviously bullshit if you just read the comments.
LowExpectations 30
.... My girlfriend gets incredibly horny on her period... Guess I'm just lucky.
Zebediabolical 45
About 80% of the girls and women I've been with have been significantly hornier on their periods. I guess you just fall into the other 20%.
poisongirl708 11
Agree it does float with me either and is super disgusting
AmorVitae93 6
why.. not?
simplylove 3
is it an fml because you were embarrassed or bc you can't have birthday sex?
gracehi 33
Both.
xerbrus 14
i used to have birthday sex just like you but then i took an arrow to the knee. forgive the outdated reference was just thinking i hadnt heard one of these in forever
Rainhawk94 27
It hasn't been used for a reason
PattonGilette2 18
aa
Faff 20
That's kind of sweet actually
sourgirl101 29
Did you start crying too?
DjeePee 25
And why didn't you comfort her by telling her she would get something? If you're not dirty of blood; put a towel under her and have sex anyway. If you are, tell her to put a tampon in and give her a hand/mouth job.
Gittoh 21
eeeeeeew. Dont give a girl on her period an oral! that is just creppy. blood can still get out if she bleeds enough, plus the vag will still smell like period. But sex under the shower would be ok!
limabeans101029 21
Some guys just aren't into that. If he doesn't want to have sex while she's on her period, he shouldn't have to. It's understandable. Also, she might not necessarily have wanted to either- I find it annoying when I can't have sex because of my period, but I still wouldn't do it even if my boyfriend offered
steam_engenius 21
Well, most guys aren't willing to do much. It's lame.