Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I was in the bank with my seven year-old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say, "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML
Today, my father and I were out in town when a lady walked up and commented on what a great looking couple we were. My dad puts his arm around me and says, "Thank you! We've been together for 17 years." FML
Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML
Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML
Today, while playing basketball, my friend thanked me for passing the ball to him. I was too embarrassed to tell him that that was me shooting. FML
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Top comments
umidontrember 14
Well, at least he knew his son had a good butt.
Fuaaad1994 31
He then got up and asked if he has a nice butt too. Like father like son (or daughter)
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Comments (89)
umidontrember 14
Well, at least he knew his son had a good butt.
Ambient25 25
I'm pretty sure Number 33 is a girl. I don't know any man who would take offense to a girl complimenting his son's features... Hell if they did I'd just be like "Yep, he's got some good genes there".
Marie314 17
/
Rainhawk94 27
I'm pretty sure if it was a girl, the father's reaction would be different. Guys don't say she has a cute butt, they say DAT ASS.
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
#14 What straight non-metrosexual guy calls a butt cute? And I don't think he was offended.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I'm completely straight.. I say cute butt when it fits the situation.. There is such thing. And if you don't think so then you obviously don't have a well developed butt scaling system. You must pay more attention to butts.
ViktoriaaKills 13
but you might be metrosexual..
REALAfroninga 11
With women, it's either dat ass, or no ass. Go big or go home, just don't go cellulite.
HKCgrimmjow 15
#70, you might need to expand your horizons if you think it's a simple yes or no
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Wow, a lot of gross, sexist comments in this thread, trying to define what adjectives people can use based on their declared gender at birth or gender identity! Gender-exclusive adjectives, this is the equality-filled future.
el_sloth 7
I had to stop going to female volleyball games with my friend because every two seconds he would say really loudly DAT ASS
DeltaS_GrtrThn_0 3
I'm all for gender equality, but your comment seems a tad extreme. I personally like the fact that people of opposite genders use different terms when referring to people they find attractive. I think it would be a rather mundane world if both men and women thought and spoke exactly alike. Diversity is what makes us, the human race, so great. It's not sexist to point out that there are differences between males and females. I'd be hard-pressed to believe that we live in a world where men and women are exactly alike. If a guy were to say, "what a cute butt," or a girl were to say, "dat ass," (while I find that sort of language disgusting, coming from either men or women, they have the right to say it, nonetheless) I would have no qualms with that. However, I won't take away from a guy/girl's right to stick to "conventional" speak, should they choose. Anyways, that's my two cents.
threer 30
I say "DAT ASS" all the time. I somehow find it kind of terrible that I say it, too, even though it's a joke. People need to stop objectifying eachother. I'll make more of an effort.
semper_fi_celia 9
How awkward omg
CerSpence 11
That isn't a comment... This isn't some text message conversation. The comments are used as a way for the reader to give advise to the OP, or to make a joke or tell a story. By making stupid comments like "lol sux 4 u", not only do you make yourself seem like an idiot, you waste space, forcing actual, good comments to go lower down or in other pages, where they are less likely to be seen. Please, for the sake of everyone, comment intelligently.
arandomusernameaa 20
You just got served.
laden_swallow09 35
Served a heaping platter of BURN. Would you like a tall glass of cold water to go with it?
Fuaaad1994 31
He then got up and asked if he has a nice butt too. Like father like son (or daughter)
ThomasBombadil 31
Sometimes parents should just stay quiet.
PancakeSlap 23
I'd probably do the same thing if I was in his position.
fakedsincerity 32
maybe people should keep quiet and not objectify others.
adam3650 12
Maybe people shouldn't take life so seriously.
HKCgrimmjow 15
#24... Are you feeling left out because nobody objectifies you?
fakedsincerity 32
yes. please objectify me stranger on the internet. I beg your approval.
threer 30
Really? Objectification isn't funny. Sure, this is FML and everything is made out to be funny by you sick bitches, but people do get objectified and the only people who can change it is the people who do it. Stop taking advantage of people like that...
Kstruggles 15
creepy
saucyrossi 18
But dat ass tho
ktsquirt 4
Booty had me like
rawlings123 17
hahaha this is hilarious!
hansam 12
The father knew the perfect time to butt in to the conversation
BillMurray_fml 12
He sure knows how to rear his children, hopefully this won't set OP behind too much!
elmer505 16
I think it's all in their genes.
laden_swallow09 35
As well as IN their jeans!
BoltTheSuperdog 22
At least he wasn't ass-king for any trouble!
browneyedshortie 4
Haha at least it's better than saying something wildly inappropriate. So maybe if you and 33 end up dating then the father might be able to forgive you.