Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after an amazing date with a girl I like at a restaurant, I realized I foolishly forgot my wallet. When I returned, I spotted my date at another table on a date with a different guy. I also wasn’t able to find my wallet. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a lovely dinner date. Our waitress was really sweet, so we talked about leaving her a big tip. When we got home, we discovered we both thought the other person had left it. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
taerts 9
I feel extremely sad for the robbed man :(
bosskidz20 2
Dafuq
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (143)
Deaded1 12
Where you at a BBQ restaurant cause her fingers where sticky-sticky!!
Benlop_fml 15
She a scouser?
ArentWeAll 4
Today, I went to a nice restaurant to have my lunch, landing a seat next to lovely couple. Halfway through my meal, the tacos I had for breakfast decided not to agree with me and I made a beeline for the restroom, forgetting my wallet. When I came back, it was gone. I couldn't pay for the bill. FML
chuckcloninger 12
Question: Are you STILL with this thing you call a girlfriend? You have an absolutely clear photograph of her character so you cannot possibly be surprised when, at some point who knows when, she does something to destroy YOUR life. But, stay with her. You're saving some other poor schmuck from her.
pugle1899 0
You must've felt pretty guilty
amire23 4
What is a gonad?
newburton13 26
Dump her! She's obviously a gold digger. And tell the cops.
Tahu424 0
Dude, you're dating a Thief. That's hot.
DramaQueen249 5
You need to break up she could get you in deep shit
HunterAlpha1 8
1. the dude shouldn't have left his wallet at the table. 2. time for a new girlfriend. just explain to her that you don't want to be associated with dishonest people, and stealing someone's wallet, even if they did leave it where anyone could've come by and taken it, was wrong and dishonest and reflects badly on you.