Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML
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Top comments
HighGTurn 12
You didn't bother to say anything?
Anti666 17
That's pretty gross man.
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Comments (132)
WKM3 5
The old boy probably hasn't had a hard on in 30 years, he just didn't want to waste good wood. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
More fun with public transit. You should've headbutted him.
oomph_fml 25
You should've been more assertive the first time he tried something. Don't let weird old men disturb you on the public transportation. If he gets away with it he'll just do it more, and that ain't right.
patrickalamo 48
Elbow across his nose
challan 19
You may not be very strong OP, but if you punch him in the nose and follow through with your elbow, you will break it. You need to defend yourself against perverts or I will be reading about you in the paper.
Habu987 9
So? All he wanted was to be able to self-fellate, and I'm sure he can't do that in his old age. Ergo, rub his crotch and then lick his hand. Be glad you were able to help a senior citizen reach sexual fulfillment!
TalkCrazy47 7
Ya, uh no. Not cool to any extent. And gross
LunaTics_fml 3
This is why I carry pepper spray, a stun gun, and a. 380 with me.
KirstenZ 6
Just move away to the next cabin or Something!
Bookoholic 11
That's when you **** your elbow and "streeeetch" it right into his nose.
QueenShmoobie 6
I don't understand why people are reacting so violently to this. There is no need to harm the man at all (well, not yet anyway). He might just be a little demented in his old age and not know what is appropriate in public anymore. OP definitely should have said something along the lines of "sir, that is not appropriate behavior in a public setting", but hurting the poor old man seems a little extreme unless he doesn't stop or gets violent himself.