Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML
Today, we’ve had a rat problem in our house for a few weeks. Recently I hid a bottle of booze in my room so my parents wouldn’t see it. But my parents saw a rat in my room and tore the whole thing apart to find it, eventually finding my bottle instead. I was literally ratted out by a rat. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML
Today, my nana tried to drown my pet rat because it's white with red eyes, and red eyes mean it’s Satan in disguise, and yet my mom still refuses to admit she needs to be in a nursing home. FML
Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML
Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML
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Top comments
Lucia_Malpense 14
How ridiculous. Everyone knows that the Devil lives in the basement.
HaneenDixon 16
Oh man! I can't believe your mom ratted out the devils hiding spot!
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Comments (42)
Lucia_Malpense 14
How ridiculous. Everyone knows that the Devil lives in the basement.
HaneenDixon 16
And that sometimes, he likes to chill under the beds..
Shmatterhorn 38
No, that's Basement Cat. Get your memes straight!
iAlissa 34
Memes have nothing to do with it?
GoodLookingGeese 10
Yes they do.
SillyGirl4602 23
11- People don't always make references to memes. I don't know if 1 was trying to or not.
kishorekumar_a 10
Yes, only Ghouls live in the attic.
braja3249 4
I don't get how this is an fml...
savannahfml 5
Lol
iAlissa 34
Well if it was referring to memes, I didn't catch on.
Lucia_Malpense 14
Lemme make this clear- no, I was not referencing a meme.
Kristoffer 35
I thought the Devil went down to Georgia?
sorta_sarcastic 12
I think you're referring to the boogeyman #2.
SilentScreamer 12
#3.. Boogeyman.
lambda_fml 40
#6 Yeah that clears it up.
dancinwookie 21
How can we be so frightened as children of something with the word "boogey" in it? I hear an instant classic disco hit in my head...I've got the fever! So, anyway...
vocaloidtiger 12
6 - I'm not quite sure of what you were trying to prove there.
lambda_fml 40
#15 I think as both the comments were written within a minute of each other, #3 must have fixed her typo making #6 look like an idiot.
dancinwookie 21
I was referring to the boogie-man, but that flew over some heads. His smooth tunes just piss some people off, I guess! F-ing terrible sarcasm, people; learn to read it!
andyyroxx 20
Well what if we just didn't find it funny, 19? And you only got one thumb down...
KingCeltic77 18
No the Boogeyman lives in the closet.
strayaway 12
Nope it's from the exorcist
dancinwookie 21
#20- It happens. Sometimes my imagination gets the best of me. The thought of opening my closet to the boogeyman dancing to "Boogie Fever", wearing an afro and rollerblades, but should've just stayed a montage in my head...lesson learned.
thatgirlinoregon 21
Take it up with ceiling cat!
HaneenDixon 16
Oh man! I can't believe your mom ratted out the devils hiding spot!
wlddog 14
Either way, put some rat traps up there with peanut butter on them. Even the devil loves peanut butter.
HaneenDixon 16
I don't like peanut butter. I like jam.
ewmoldycheese 14
Rats Arnt the devil?
vocaloidtiger 12
That's just what they want you to think...
alycion 39
Victims of the plague probably felt both rats and fleas were the devil.
ShyAnn29 15
Rats are devilish, They're creepy!
chanellgymnast 17
Your mom has a fantastic sense of humor.
Mister_Triangle 21
A women after my own heart. Is she single?
gc327072 31
She's out of your league, forever alone guy.
hurley12 30
Thats an effed up thing to say...
lambda_fml 40
Yep. Devil is a bRat.
SuperdudeGuy 8
But is she that mom from the Exorcist?
MrPlopper 9
.........yes
TrilliousDivine 9
Either way, Good luck sleeping... I'd be terrified