Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scare stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML
Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
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Top comments
suckceed 17
I'm on the toilet right now and I hate you.
Tripartita 45
This is the exact reason I've invested so much in ToiletCats™. My toilets are rat-free, and the scratches are… mostly healing!
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Comments (49)
Knaxer 22
Hey OP, just be thankful you're not from New York City
XtremeHeat 14
Im going to guess those downvotes are people who don't get the joke...
Swandive235 27
I've had that dream before, except with spiders. Not a pleasant one.
walid820014 20
It's only a dream. I hope you forget it.
suckceed 17
I'm on the toilet right now and I hate you.
walid820014 20
YDI
guss5441 18
Story of my life
dorothy675 15
I hear alligators crawl up toilets as well ;)
EvilTurtle 35
I also heard turtles are able to crawl up as well, what's even worse is that they're evil.
ohjoy15 33
Even though the chances of something like that happening twice are pretty small... I still wouldn't risk it haha. FYL.
Tripartita 45
You ether misread the FML, or I'm impressed by you knowledge of rat-dream statistics and concerned that you're suggesting the OP never sleep again.
Tripartita 45
*either *your Poor form, mate.
ohjoy15 33
My bad. Read it wrong. :). Sorry! And oh yeah. Definitely. When I'm not at my day job I'm researching rat dream statistics. Time well spent. @15
Tripartita 45
This is the exact reason I've invested so much in ToiletCats™. My toilets are rat-free, and the scratches are… mostly healing!
The_Potato_Lord 15
Where can I buy them? I live about 30 minutes away from Walmart...
ColonelCusswords 24
3 easy targets
zyero 9
Honestly depending on the breed some rats make grea pets, Wharf rats are the largest, what you would consider your typical New York sewer rat but they also happened to be one of the smartest and most trainable breeds, I hear they can get up to the size of a large cat or small dog, and from my experience if trained properly they are a lot less likely to bite than a dog or cat. Just keep an eye on the little bugger because of there is a way to open the cage or aquarium you have em in they will find out how and escape nightly to sneak into your room and curl up with you, cute and all but don't wana crush the little bugger
demideity 13
Never keep a rodent in an aquarium. They are prone to respiratory illness and an enclosed space with no air ventilition helps none.
lysx84 24
I had a similar issue after watching a film as a child where a guy got eaten by a critter while on the loo.
sammiaaron 16
that movie when the guy was sitting on the toilet trying to keep the lid closed..he chews on toothpicks..dropped the last one and leaned to get it and the thing in the toilet attacked him? (forgot the name tho)
By_The_9 13
That would be Dreamcatcher :)
Sora_McKain 36
That would be dream catcher by Steven King. And the guy's name is Joe "Beaver" Clarendon. That's one of my favorite books.