Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML
Today, we’ve had a rat problem in our house for a few weeks. Recently I hid a bottle of booze in my room so my parents wouldn’t see it. But my parents saw a rat in my room and tore the whole thing apart to find it, eventually finding my bottle instead. I was literally ratted out by a rat. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML
Today, my nana tried to drown my pet rat because it's white with red eyes, and red eyes mean it’s Satan in disguise, and yet my mom still refuses to admit she needs to be in a nursing home. FML
Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML
Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML
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Top comments
Lucia_Malpense 14
How ridiculous. Everyone knows that the Devil lives in the basement.
HaneenDixon 16
Oh man! I can't believe your mom ratted out the devils hiding spot!
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Comments (42)
xeka 10
How is this even considered an "FML"? ...
monnanon 14
maybe its your mums high school bf or does that only happen on the simpsons
BellaFurfaro 12
That must have made you feel so much more safer.
natashaapickle 8
I wish my mom would say cool things like that
HeartOfLead 24
At least it's not the Cthulu?
yaoifreak 8
I'd be scared to even walk to the bathroom if my mom said
berkeleyjake 13
I bet somewhere there exists someone who is both an exterminator and an exorcist
McFappin 6
That escalated quickly.
taybay23 13
Why would she say that!?
Preponderancy 2
@77 The rates for exorcist plumbers will be expensive sadly.