Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

Today, I got married. After the ceremony, my sister asked to talk to me. I followed her and she told me that we are no longer related because we don't have the same last name anymore. FML

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

Odd family

Today, my wife demanded a divorce because I returned custody of my nieces and nephew to my brother, who has spent the last few years recovering from a horrible car accident. My wife wanted us to keep and adopt them. FML

Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML

Today, my husband of 10 years decided only after I told him I wanted a divorce that his niece is also his daughter. FML

Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML