Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend caught the bouquet at her sister's wedding. I took it as a sign so after we got home, I proposed. She laughed and said no way. I'm done. FML
Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML
Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught the bouquet at her friend's wedding, then shook them in my face like an accusation. I joined in the laughing with everyone else, but it put her in a mood, and she now hasn’t spoken to me in two days. FML
Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML
Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML
Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML
Today, I got married. After the ceremony, my sister asked to talk to me. I followed her and she told me that we are no longer related because we don't have the same last name anymore. FML
Today, I was supposed to get married. Instead, my sister made up a story about me cheating on my fiancé at the bachelorette party. He bought it and dumped me, despite there being no evidence of this. Turns out it was all a plan because they were secretly seeing each other for months. FML
Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML
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Top comments
Starsmydog 0
Your wife is a bitch. You deserve better!
mehwhateverr 0
Bad news: You're getting a divorce. Good news: You're rid of a heartless bitch. FYL.
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Comments (78)
kewlcat 0
ouchh how do you know for sure though? it could have been a joke? sucks though!
nwc020 0
that's a pretty bad joke
americayay 0
This was not the best time to tell you, but under what circumstances WOULD it have been a good time? There really isn't a good time to receive terrible news.
sickinlove13 0
I can think of at least one good time: NOT at his sister's wedding in front of all of his family.
Xeciaris 0
Ouch! You sure it wasn't a joke? I truly feel bad for you. If she is like that, then make out with her sister or friend to get revenge. FYL.
Starsmydog 0
Your wife is a bitch. You deserve better!
DangerousBabee 0
Ah that sucks monkey balls :( Hmm. Seems to me your wife has a serious case of Douchbagary. :P
PureGold 0
That's messed up on sooo many levels x(
SAF_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for not being man enough to keep your wife
MrHippy 0
ouch bro! maybe you should take some time and talk to her about it..
Uvula 0
Dude I would have an orgy with the maids of honor
lolzforfun228 3
you win my friend.
Dylan1996 0
Your wife is a bishhhh... Even if she's joking that's messed..
Casualt1234 0
I believe, sir, that you have the right to choke a bitch.
Xeciaris 0
I lol'ed soo hard. Reminds me of that Chapel show.
4dakill 0
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches
JoeBentley 0
That is so ****** up. I'll never understand why so many people feel the need to be petty and vindictive when they break up with someone. If a relationship doesn't work out just end it honestly, no need to emotionally hurt another person anymore then is necessary.
Jay9313 0
Dude, someone finally gets it! My Ex-Girlfriend decided she had feeling for this other guy, so instead of breaking up with me to be with him and being done with it, she cheats on me for TWO weeks, breaks up with me and told me she'd been cheating on me, started a bunch of rumors about me, tell everyone I was harassing her, gave my phone number out to a bunch of guys telling them I was harassing her, and to please make me stop, and told everyone I gave her death threats, which in turn made them give me death threats. She broke up with me, and i didn't talk to her at all, sooo she's a filthy drama *****, but don't tell anyone i said that, because I'm not going to start name calling, I'm above that.
gigi37 0
Holy shit, I hope I never meet any people like that