Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
Fop 6
YDI for hiding in someone else's closet... What the heck?
hockeyfml555 0
good job moron
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Comments (204)
feed_the_ducks 0
naked in boyfriend's closet=creepy naked on boyfriend's bed=sexy feminist really? Domestic violence, did you really think your response through before you typed it? All he saw was a figure in the closet there fore he defended himself, it was purely instinct.
feminist19 0
it was in his bedroom though|? how many naked people do you have in your bedroom?
feed_the_ducks 0
So just because they were in the bedroom it counts as domestic violence? How was he to know she was naked and in the bedroom when she was hiding? If he is getting a pair of pants that obviously shows he was in the middle of something, and seeing a figure was something totally off guard and his defenses went into affect. I'm pretty sure many people would have reacted the same way, so please spare people with your bullshit.
feminist19 0
no but i mean how many naked people would be in his bedroom, he had to know who the naked woman was, his girlfriend, therfore he knew who he was hitting. its not like it was out in the street and could be a random lunatic, it had to have been his girlfirend
canucksrule88 0
how would you know it wasnt a random stalker? wtf is wrong with you why do you defend every woman here? if a guy was in the closet you would have been like OMG UR SO STUPID WHY WERE U IN THE CLOSET U SHOULD BE DUMPED and all that bullshit plexico and intoxicunt are right...you are nothing but a troll
theRovingMage 0
Feminist19, I'm sorry, but I have to agree with the other posters. Your idea of what happened gives the boyfriend a lot more time to think about the person jumping out at him. It wasn't like the OP jumped out, the boyfriend screamed, said "Why did you do that?!?" and then hit her. That's abuse. The OP writes it like she jumped out at him and he hit her without thinking. I've been startled in that way, too, so I know how you just react. (A friend snuck up on me and grabbed my ass; I just managed to avoid breaking his nose.)
feed_the_ducks 0
effect*
feed_the_ducks 0
I would waste my time arguing with you but honestly I have better things to do with myself. I'm pretty sure when he opened the closet door his mind didn't register that his girlfriend was standing there naked, since oh I don't know most girls don't hide out naked in a closet.
_pk_ 0
Sure, nothing says "sexy" that when someone scares the shit out of you by appearing naked inside a closet.
Pointy130 0
WTF is wrong with you? YDI for being an asswipe.
brando213 0
ydi for having a boyfriend that bitch slaps as a reflex.
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for pretending your boyfriend was Clay Aiken.
victoriax3 0
awh girl thats sucks but yeah not that sexy lol. I would be scared too and probably hit who ever I saw in my closet lol. Just dont worry about it you guys can joke about it
underdog23 6
i am pretty certain that something is wrong with all of you...