Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
Fop 6
YDI for hiding in someone else's closet... What the heck?
hockeyfml555 0
good job moron
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Comments (204)
Imthatgirlthere 0
I find this to be an excellent point. OP- YDI.
evalovex3 0
hahhah thats fuuny but why the closet thats weird and stupid , and why you got slapped . hheheheh .
Samuraixman 3
well your lucky if it was me i would have roundhouse kicked your ass back in the closet
fmlfmlfml15 0
#188 FTW
helpmeiamblind 0
AWWWW FYL OP. That's a super plus move for you as a GF!
TheKitsune 0
On the bright side, you're dating Chuck Norris!
_THE_MASTER_ 0
ok, the largest hole in your comment is that if she was in fact dating Chuck Norris, she wouldn't have lived through even the mildest of his slaps. secondly, if a woman's dating Chuck Norris, she ****** knows it. you fail. Miserably
TheKitsune 0
Did I SAY she didn't know she was dating him? No. You fail at pwning.
goldenferret 0
At least you know he can protect you, now.
bigsexy94 6
can i be your american boy? lol i promise not to slap u
Ultimate_Terror 0
falcon punch!!!!
fallingstarsxox 8
Haha!!!! This one made me lol hard xD
marqn001 9
are you a physco girlfriend lol i would never do that lol funny tho