Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
Fop 6
YDI for hiding in someone else's closet... What the heck?
hockeyfml555 0
good job moron
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Comments (204)
picturetaker 0
I bet there was no make up sex after.
confirmpassword 0
there's a she wolf in your closet...?
roadkill1301 0
touché #110
strawberryspacejam 11
goddamnit. I replied to feminist19 and they took her off! Now it looks like im talking to myself!
_THE_MASTER_ 0
136 HI-FRIGGIN-LARIOUS!!!!(in a totally non-sarcastic way) i like the fact that since she got the boot and can't comment for a few weeks, in fact, i like it so much that I'm going to make so many sexist comments on this site that she will not be able to blast me for that she'll have a mental breakdown. i think the rest of you should follow suit.
communism_is_yes 0
That's okay. Guys tend to degrade themselves, all by themselves.
DameGreyWulf 1
lol 160 It's so sadly true. Well, not always sad. Sometimes hilarious. Like those couples where the guy just never wins... I want to be that girl, but only do it for ***** and giggles then surprise later and say "I was messing with you babycakes" and, depending on the level we were at, either a DRAMATIC LEAP INTO ARMS "TAKE ME STUD" or just silly snuggle
_THE_MASTER_ 0
160, that isn't nice...lol i couldn't even type that with a straight face... but really. I'm not a sexist, nor would i say anything sexist to be taken seriously. I'm just irritated by pseudo-feminists like feminist19, who equates everything a man does to abuse or torment or a bid for superiority, because it's hypocritical in naturte, saying that A) she is a feminists and b) everything a man does is to fufill the sole purpose of seeling superior to a woman. because she is clearly one of those who thinks that women are the superior race. WRONG. I believe in equality, not traditional equality. i think that just like any other person to person comparison, or better yet, any group to group comparison, that typically men are better at some things, and worse at others. Just like Women are typically better at some things and worse at others. and it sort of balances out. so there. =P (wow...i got through a whole comment without insulting anyone!)
Paige_Nicole10 0
weird..
brando213 0
ydi for coming out of the closet to your boyfriend. i'd have slapped you too.
uj_fml 4
umm maybe you shouldn't do that typically things that come out of closets are not good
07_MKV 0
LMAO, this is one of the funniest FML's i have read in a while
fatesucks 0
he must feel super bad...
shuu_naay 0
wow. guess you know not to every try to be sexy and hide in is closet again. but you cant blame him. look on the bright side atleast he didnt punch you.