Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
Fop 6
YDI for hiding in someone else's closet... What the heck?
hockeyfml555 0
good job moron
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Comments (204)
DameGreyWulf 1
How did you manage to stay so horny this whole time? I mean, I assume some time must have passed if he went with defensive measures against you instead of realizing it couldn't be anyone else but you. But watch out about the pouncing. You COULD have hurt him. Trying something more like "Guess who?"
cattyfresh2115 0
youre a total moron... you wait on the BED naked not the damn closet! my boyfriend would have done the same thing most guys have crazy reflexes to attack!! STUUUUUUPID!
hawkloverr 0
thats kind of hot. you should have gone with that energy and maybe had some really awesome and different sex..
DameGreyWulf 1
You have a good point. "You hit me! You.... /ANIMAL/" and take it from there
jan714 0
dang yo he melee blocked your hunter pounce
danceoo 0
WTF! if someone jumped out of my closet i would FREAK OUT! that is so not sexy
rustylertz 0
Anyone see Burn After Reading? It could have been a lot worse...
Moosezilla 0
Well, that is the general response you get when you do come out of the closet.
silentmusic 0
hahahaha!!! i would freak in the beginng but i would probably scream instead of slap.....or pull out my knife that i carry around just in case someone jumps out of a closet or tries to attack me. im paranoid. so if he was like me and pulls out his knife and stabs her on accident well then......lol id proably laugh at that. what if he raped her dead body...............i need to get my overactive imagination under control. it just keeps going and going and going.....
genius_man16 1
could be worse, could have come home with another girl
rwarlol 0
ydi for having a boyfriend that slaps when he feels like he's endanger. he can't protect you if something really happens.