Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML
Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
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Top comments
GirlaftaGirl 0
You dont need a new body...you need a new boyfriend
Jen_J_the_J 0
^^^^ someone likes their ****
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Comments (97)
mygoodsir 0
maybe he dosent like your body anymore
zZPedobearZz 0
"OMIGOSH THERES A NAKED WOMAN IN MY ROOM THROW A BaCKPACK AT HER!" i would do the same... he probably did it by accident because he got scared or something...
crimewc 0
dang don't u feel bad u need start searching for somebody else u that crazy he have some else stupied ?
FUDGELOVESME 0
yeah right he probably just didn't want to do it and was tired
ButtNekked 0
Backpack = Still in school? Oh god are you in HIGH SCHOOL :0
xlostwithoutu 0
They probably are in high school. Get married before having sex idiots.
reyemrein 0
STFU 41 no one likes to hear people like you shovel your bullshit on us
doink 0
Ever heard of college? Some people bring backpacks to their jobs, too.
mittensbum16 0
I carry a backpack and I'm in college it doesn't necessarily mean that you're still in high school
thor89 0
Your a stupid **** with a black eye
Goofalie 0
41 your a douche bag who are you to judge what they do in there sex life you just jealous cause you don't get any at all and prolly never will
rap33r100 0
r u serius these years girls have sex before 13 for god sake
Pail17 0
^ very true.
rldostie 19
and boys? Boys have sex before 13, too, right? no one should be having sex at 13 but let's not pretend it's worse for girls to be having sex. a guy gets a girl pregnant and his life is pretty much ****** too.
showrunner 0
number 53 I second your motion
brainiac94 0
hi
EvilCupcake8361 9
41 I love your pic:)
TheLadWhoLived 0
Illiteracy's a bitch...
shumian 4
rofl "he got scared"
PoTnOoto 7
There's this thing called college, I think you guys should try it
NikAero 0
nvm
GirlaftaGirl 0
You dont need a new body...you need a new boyfriend
babe7260 30
No shit!!!!
J0yce 0
Were you that desperate for sex at the moment...?
Eddie_Paints 0
How rude!
Middrslife 0
#4 I have to agree, was she really that desperate? lol
taycandy96 2
that sounds like it should be in a movie
AlcaSMT 0
Agree~
maskedman 9
National Lampoon is probably working on it right now.
HamsteronA 0
don't lie on the bed posing, as soon as he comes in, push him aginst the wall and start. and don't start naked, then there's nothing to build up to. start in ur underwear
LemonMan 0
#7 has obviosly experienced something like this before
ImThePope 2
Sounds interesting. Haha, care to share some more? (; Just kidding. You don't know what he did at "school" so don't get your hopes up OP! Maybe he wants to take a nap first?
Jen_J_the_J 0
^^^^ someone likes their ****
cady2 0
FTW :)
harryman04 0
lol I was thinking the same thing
CallMeHush 1
Well who wants to screw some girl with a big honkin black eye? Then again the pretend rapist might.
jack8765 0
lol maybe he's in the closet and wanting to come out
perdix 31
At least he gave a toss. No, really, it's game over, man. Move on, nothing to see here.