Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I left for vacation in Mexico. Upon landing, I received a text message from the guy I've been seeing. It read, "Sorry, I'm not boyfriend material. Have a good trip." I paid 75 cents to get dumped, internationally. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wouldn't be able to get any time off work to go to Mexico with him, and that we'd have to get our tickets refunded, and reschedule. He said not to bother, and that he already had someone else in mind to take with him. FML
Today, a boy I'm not even dating took it upon himself to tell me that we would never work out. Via text message. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years sent me a text message saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend refuses to talk to me because of a misread text. FML
Today, the guy I've been flirting with for a week, and would be meeting in two days, sent me a message that he wouldn't be able to text me this evening because he'll be on a date. FML
Today, I texted the guy I went out with last night. He'd told me he’d text me when he got home, but he never did. Cracking a joke, I asked him if he was homeless or something, since he broke his word. He replied, “No, I’m just not that into you. Have a nice life.” FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend, asking him to meet me when he finished work. Paranoid as he is, he took this to mean that I wanted to break up with him, and is ghosting me into oblivion. All I wanted was to see him on our 4-year anniversary. FML
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Top comments
RoboCunnilingus 23
Either he was joking or that's nacho boyfriend anymore.
JMichael 26
Your boyfriend sounds like a prick.
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Comments (126)
Cass_x 22
deserve eachother (: *
skellingtonfart 18
What was the point of this comment?
ksks1234 33
29--it was supposed to go under 9, but they apparently don't know how to click the comment, then click the arrow.
rosenkrieger223 24
And she still managed to make the same typo.
xxwhyxx 9
Maybe he wanted to go to a Quinceañera instead
imhope 23
That's rude. Dump him
ThatsMyPie 20
Oh my god what the **** is wrong with all of you. If he doesn't want to go to the ball, so what? Sometimes my girlfriend doesn't want to do things so we don't do them. It doesn't make her any less of a person. This is not a good single reason to break up with someone. If they've had a long history of being a ********, fine, but one situation is not enough to break up with someone. No wonder the divorce rate is rising, douchecanoes like you people are coming of age.
ComoEsJuan 24
Ha! Douchecanoes. Do they erupt liquid hot magma of stupidity at seemingly random and inopportunistic times? Leaving an ash cloud of pure dumbass-ery for all those in surrounding areas to breathe in unwillingly?
junkman6 22
#18 this is FML, a boyfriend farting in the same zip code is enough of a reason for the masses to scream "dump his ass!!!!" Dump his ass OP for saying no in a goofy manner. Obviously if the masses say so it must be correct, that's democracy right?
xerbrus 14
Just because everyone gets a vote doesn't mean their vote is educated. Nowadays the masses in every country are pretty much wrong
kangx1 28
In ever Fml there has to be that one retard who things ever ******* couple has to break up -.-
ThatsMyPie 20
90, yeah, but this FML has like 30 of 'em!
CestLaVieMonAmi 6
You should kick his burrito. He's not worth your emotions OP.
Rainhawk94 27
Don't take advice from sea mammals
kangx1 28
Lol
buckdharma 38
Well, o-casadia.
iSnipeFatPeople 18
Quesadilla*
buckdharma 38
Muchas gracias!
ZY1431 24
well although he is being a prick. ill admit the comment is funny
alexmedina_cx 6
Seems like he'd rather go to a Mexican party.
Mshrodes 13
Am I the only one around here who assumed he was...oh I don't know...joking ? And what if he doesn't feel like going to the ball ? The OP never mentioned this thing is important to her so there's no need to get on your high horses and start calling him a prick or tell her she should break up...
zoegirl_455 30
I was thinking the same thing, especially since she just texted about it. I feel like if it was really important she would call or ask in person.. However, it's still not the nicest reply he could have sent.
Mshrodes 13
Obviously it wasn't but if it was meant as a joke, it's not so bad. Sometimes I jokingly answer that way when someone asks me to do something I'm really not up for, and then I do it anyway or provide a mature explanation. Let's hope that's what happened next and the shortened story was just for the sake of FML.
Enslaved 38
Sounds like she might be in-- "Dire Straits" "Rollergirl, don't worry D.J. play the movies. . . All night long. . . . . .All night long"
zoegirl_455 30
Haha he's messing with you. Good thing two can play at the game. Your move op.