Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
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Top comments
latuka 0
OUCH.
Jimboom 12
So he couldn't be arsed to have phone sex? So what? Usually it takes a long time and the guy could have brought himself to ****** at least twice by the time the dirty talk turns the women on enough to climax. I see no FML here. More like FMF (**** my fingers). Buy a vibrator. On a side note it's really his loss. Phone sex can be very hot. :)
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Comments (207)
DinoJR 0
lmfao you got owned, maybe yo just suck at sex
vonstrangle 0
i'd definitely rather sleep than get someone else off haha
bitchplease69_fml 0
Your boyfriend is right, princess. Not everyone can always please your wishes. + he's being sexual.
hp4ever_fml 0
Sounds like a jerk to me.
ezflip 0
**** that! next time, txt me ;)
texmas 0
Buy a vibrator and stop expecting your man to be in the mood every time you are when you know the reverse sure as hell isn't true.
kayronjm 0
The fact that you EXPECTED him to come and attend your every need whenever you want disgusts me. Especially considering you would not do the same thing if he said that to you. A lot of women complain about guys but you are a perfect example of how a woman shouldn't be. Go bitch at someone else.
Arabian_Dude 0
need help baib ? ;p
allstarplayer324 0
You probably shouldn't have expected him to come over but at least expected phone sex for a few minutes...the next time 3 or 4 times that you guys are doing anything stop a minute or two before he has to come (when he says its going to be close) then tell him he has hands and point him to the bathroom.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
he'd probably nut in her face then. and she would've earned that.
smorkmo 6
haha no shit! bet she wouldn't jump out of bed and drive over late as hell for him. she needs to get over it and maybe put out at a reasonable hour and more often for that mater
JuJuBeeSunshine 0
You can also remind him of the versatility of his hands and that he can test them out while he finds a new girlfriend. What an ass!