Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a picture a popular girl I don't talk to had posted of her fake ID. She had used my full name and identical signature. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML
Today, I set my relationship status to taken with a fake profile just for kicks. A literal minute later, an acquaintance commented proof that I stole the image from Google. I can't tell if I was busted so quickly because I'm a bad liar, or that people find it impossible to believe that I could get a girlfriend. FML
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
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Top comments
NickaPLZ 26
I applaud you. I once deleted my own facebook and I haven't broke down and reactivated it yet. Again, props to you for sticking to your guns. As for the girl, there will be less crazy ones out there. Keep searching.
boxbrandon11 20
Accuse her of being stupid
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Comments (119)
markuskind 7
What a ******* bitch
TeamKelly 10
I think OP dodged a bullet there.
Misswildsides 22
What a stupid, silly girl. Just because someone doesn't have a Facebook and whatnot, doesn't mean they're fake. At least you know you can forget about her, OP.
Catkam623 27
*dumbass
whos_ur_daddy1 19
At least you have a FML account! ;D
NickaPLZ 26
I applaud you. I once deleted my own facebook and I haven't broke down and reactivated it yet. Again, props to you for sticking to your guns. As for the girl, there will be less crazy ones out there. Keep searching.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
There are so few people without a Facebook. It's nice to see I'm not the only person who uses the Internet and doesn't have one. Hell, even my parents have a Facebook account.
HannahLouise96 13
I have relatives and old friends who live quite far away (as in several hours drive away) and apart from occasional visits, phone calls and Facebook are the only means of communication I have with them. However, if I didn't have relatives who lived far away I probably wouldn't have a Facebook account either.
AnyaS 19
Same. I only got Facebook after I made friends while studying abroad in Japan. In order to keep contact with them (I don't like calling people) I use Facebook.
NickaPLZ 26
48 - That's the exact reason my girlfriend has one, so there I don't blame you.
HowieDoIt 21
I don't have a facebook, mostly out of stubbornness, but I enjoy making people talk to me through phones or in person
KeXu 6
Yes, let us all brag about how we don't have Facebook accounts
superpoptart 24
74 - they should get awards
tararochelle 18
Ok!! I don't either!along with instagram and twitter. It cuts out a lot of drama. And there's no need to check on other people's life that much, live your own instead.
lonewolf621 17
I only have instagram coz i like it when people like my pics :D
shadowsorel 15
Great input. Now do you think that is a valid reason?
yeti37 16
Yet OP has an FML account...?
ihaveasushicat 24
#99 no... its anonymous...
Metallica36176 16
Don't feel bad. I gave my facebook to my uncle for Cityville a week after I signed up (thought it was stupid and pointless), dont have any idea what Instagram is, and have a Twitter only to sign into iFunny. I find social networks to be a waste of time and a way to be nosey. It makes me sick how that shit has taken over. The ONLY thing I would like to be a part of is Tumblr because how funny, but I cant see the point if I can't find funny posts/threads. And the only thing I liked about MySpace was the surveys I did with others that I printed to make Scrapbooks etc ^_^
kyu_Q 19
Social media 1, common sense 0
fantasyworld 39
I deactivated mine because I got bored with it. Good for you for not breaking down and starting it back up.
boxbrandon11 20
Accuse her of being stupid
lopsop 12
And call the cops as well
Trisha_aus 15
stupid is as stupid does.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Tell her you control the matrix, and therefore don't need an account.
mackdeezy 22
On the other hand if this is how she verifies your identity this is probably how she could ruin your life.
Sandman366 6
Right, because everyone is required by law to have a social networking account. (I don't have and never want to have a twitter, Facebook, or instagram account.) Plus, what do you tell the cops? "I couldn't find them on Facebook, they must be using a false identity!"
QQmore_fml 18
She's insane. Be happy u didn't take her home, she would probably have claimed rape when she woke up.
allie2590 31
Good job on giving the crazy girl at the bar a fake name! Now she can't stalk you, but you had all the fun from the night before.
NoDontKillMe 19
I don't see how this is down voted; this is awesome!
sotheresthisgirl 8
Stupidity gets down voted.
Shenanigans9 8
73 - coincidence? I think not.
allie2590 31
Serious comment is super serious.
pikmin5764 18
OP didn't give her a fake name they just didn't have an account on any social media
ositoakaluis 16
OP you should be happy you found out she is stupid now then a couple months later
solosohigh 15
you talk about "fixing grammar" in your profile but then use "then" where you should've said "than." grammar nazi, I know...
Dynosaur_dollie 38
They said if they have trouble reading the fml they fix the grammar in their head, not just one mistake in a comment.
emilyjgraham 34
Also, 27, if you're going to be picky about grammar you might want to capitalize the beginning of your sentences! :)
Ameel_fml 19
Whether or not periods go inside or outside the quotation marks depends on the country. They're both technically correct though.
TheNewGuy03 29
I suppose you could be thankful for this, because if you had any of these accounts and you gave your info to her, she would probably try to ruin your shit. You dodged a Bullet Bill.
AllThingsBright_ 11
So she met you IN PERSON and couldn't find you on social networking sites and thought you were fake? Reverse catfish?
bamagrl410 31
That show has suddenly made everyone think they need to be suspicious of others and that they can be some sort of online detective in these sort of situations. It's getting a little ridiculous. I had someone act all suspicious of me for no reason and it was the most irritating thing in the world.
AllThingsBright_ 11
I met my girlfriend through an online dating site. Less than two weeks later we met and now a year later we are still happy together. Not everyone online is a lying asshole!
chlorinegreen 27
Same for me 2 years and still going strong. I can understand why people would get suspicious but only under reasonable circumstances.
taranpreet 7
He gave her a fake name, is a possible conclusion she came to after not being able to find him on any social networking sites. Still pretty dumb not to mention stalker-ish.
DracoSpirita 21
79 - OP didn't give her a fake name. He just doesn't have a Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Is that really so hard to believe?
catsmeow123 11
Good for you, OP! Never mind her...