Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a picture a popular girl I don't talk to had posted of her fake ID. She had used my full name and identical signature. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML
Today, I set my relationship status to taken with a fake profile just for kicks. A literal minute later, an acquaintance commented proof that I stole the image from Google. I can't tell if I was busted so quickly because I'm a bad liar, or that people find it impossible to believe that I could get a girlfriend. FML
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
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Top comments
NickaPLZ 26
I applaud you. I once deleted my own facebook and I haven't broke down and reactivated it yet. Again, props to you for sticking to your guns. As for the girl, there will be less crazy ones out there. Keep searching.
boxbrandon11 20
Accuse her of being stupid
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Comments (119)
ninaskyez 12
The world revolves around internet what do you expect
LeeRed 15
Did you know? You don't have to google the sun to actually see the sun.
LeeRed 15
Welcome to the new online generation, if it ain't posted on FB it ain't true. Once met a girl who wouldn't believe me that I'm single because I didn't have a relationship status on FB. It sucks. Hate that BS
luckygamer85 7
why do people assume you're the weird one for not using facebook or twitter or anything like that? i deleted my facebook account, i've never had a twitter and i don't plan on looking back. what did people do before facebook and myspace and all that other crap? they actually talked to each other!!! what a society....
LeeRed 15
Well said!!
Obey_StudBoii 23
She sounds to clingy, but you dodged a bullet with that one.
GetPuckedUp 3
awesome to see more people in the No Facebook club. i never had one, never will.
oxygenius 14
Overly attached girlfriend.
M3DIC4T3 29
I don't use facebook/instagram/twitter or anything at all. I must not be a real person either. How would the cops help if we're not even real? Maybe everyone is just a figment of her imagination. It's her world, we're just living in it...
Omniprism 15
Dodged a bullet there. What a nut. Some chicks are just plain stupid and dumb.
NewYorkMexPR 14
Smh some people are just crazy
Jacksparrow72 21
You dodged a bullet.