Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a picture a popular girl I don't talk to had posted of her fake ID. She had used my full name and identical signature. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML
Today, I set my relationship status to taken with a fake profile just for kicks. A literal minute later, an acquaintance commented proof that I stole the image from Google. I can't tell if I was busted so quickly because I'm a bad liar, or that people find it impossible to believe that I could get a girlfriend. FML
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NickaPLZ 26
I applaud you. I once deleted my own facebook and I haven't broke down and reactivated it yet. Again, props to you for sticking to your guns. As for the girl, there will be less crazy ones out there. Keep searching.
boxbrandon11 20
Accuse her of being stupid
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (119)
TechFire 25
You dodged a bullet. I'm the first one to say that, right?
upallnight11 19
What has the world come to. People actually think you don't exist if you don't have social media
NeinKittenz 20
Good thing she didn't find your fake accounts. She would have trouble believing you're a #swaggernaut
Marakie 16
I would have done the same thing if I couldn't find u on Facebook everybody has. 1
DracoSpirita 21
Obviously not OP.
MyNameIsReed 4
Couldn't you have just used your license?
myeviltwin 20
I resisted getting a fb account for years, but, after finally getting one a couple of years ago I am glad I did. I have been able to reconnect with friends and family whom I have not seen in years (people move away etc.). Personaly I hate talking on the phone, (I work in sales so I am on the phone all day at work(no I am not a telemarketer)) I would rather exchange messages on that site. If someone causes too much drama on fb I unfriend them real quick.
thunderniron 22
Tell her to google real and fake since the only reality comes from the net. Lol
AdoptedSoul 6
Op now my only question is...you stated you texted her after meeting her at a bar...did she give you her number or did you have to locate it off one of the named sites...it sounds so crazy that you must have done something to warrant the outcome.
Chucklikesbacon 12
It's a sad day, when being a part of the real world more than the interned means you are fake.
Chucklikesbacon 12
Congrats on being a really real!