Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML
Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting out, "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML
Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML
Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML
Today, my mother-in-law called to find out how the first week of school went for the kids. She spent most of the call complaining about her husband. I'd like to send her a bill for her trying to use me as a therapist. FML
Today, I called my mom for the first time in a few weeks, just to chat because I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are you calling? What's wrong? Do you have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, and I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML
Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML
Today, I told my mom I wasn't doing very good mentally and I was looking for some support. She decided to remind me of all of the things I still haven't paid her back for. I'm now an unpaid loan, not her daughter. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I called my mom from Australia. I have been abroad for two months and hadn't talked to her in a long time. A few minutes into the conversation my moms stops me and says this call must cost a fortune and hangs up on me. A few bucks in more important to her then me. FML
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Top comments
toaster012 17
Wow. She's very cruel.
Keevarou 17
Looks like she is the one who deep throated a cactus, she's really stingy. But you should try and take it as high as you can and see If you can get the money back somehow, good luck OP and sorry to hear about how unlucky you are with family
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Comments (192)
ileenefudge 29
Wow. Some mother in law..wish you the best of luck with her OP and never lend money to her again and if she asked remind her of the time she called you a **** and tell her to go deepthroat her own cactus and hang up on her. See how she likes it.
simoncat 11
Am I the only one confused about the OP using a male symbol, but the abusive asshole bitch of a mother in law called the OP a ****?
simoncat 11
Really? Do you feel better after that tiny tirade? As the owner of a ****, I am a female. As it is a term for a ******. No? The derogatory term is normally reserved for females. Just like "dick" is most often a derogatory term for a male. So lay off.
vbmg152 19
Yeah! I'm confused too! Is OP male or female?
Llamacod 11
So i suppose you've never heard of a male being called a bitch either?
Zebediabolical 45
@81 Did you happen to notice that OP is in Australia? A former British colony? And Brits use **** as the most offensive term they can against both women and men. Look it up.
flockz 20
how about a guy being called a douche? where would that fall in your logic?
SMHsohard 22
You definitely need to get your spouse involved here. If she's too timid to stand up to the old buddy (and she might be, given that this probably isn't new behavior), write the loan off, and if she wants more money at some future date, tell her that you're sorry, but you don't have the extra funds to help her out.
SMHsohard 22
Damn autocorrect-biddy, not buddy.
NagainaFier 16
Biddy, buddy, it works either way! Should have just rolled with it :3
sacolop 5
well that escalated quickly
ywolfgl 21
Some people are rude? Don't let them get to you!
patrickalamo 48
Have her son, your husband, grow some balls and handle his mom.
Llamacod 11
F*ck idiots, let me give you a quick lesson here that may save you some future embarrassment. A circle with an upward directed arrow off of the right side is a symbol for "male". A circle with a cross protruding from the bottom of said circle is the symbol for "female". Now if you are ever stuck trying to decide which restroom to use and all you have to go by are these circles maybe, just maybe, you will now pick the correct one for your gender.
TheHeavyOne 15
YDI, cause you know how she is & you still lent her money ( unless it was actually your spouse that lent her money but you said 'I' not 'we'.)
Viet_fml 9
Take her to small claims court.
NagainaFier 16
Sadly, unless OP got it writing (and I'm willing to bet he didn't), I don't believe there's anything they can do :/
Mariee_x3 6
And you're the ****?
skyeyez9 25
Next time you see her and if you have the opportunity, steal the money out of her purse. Never, ever admit to it or tell anyone. She will know its you and it will eat her up inside because there isn't shit she can do about it. And then she will know how you felt when you loaned her money and she refused to pay it back