Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML
Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting out, "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML
Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML
Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML
Today, my mother-in-law called to find out how the first week of school went for the kids. She spent most of the call complaining about her husband. I'd like to send her a bill for her trying to use me as a therapist. FML
Today, I called my mom for the first time in a few weeks, just to chat because I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are you calling? What's wrong? Do you have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, and I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML
Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML
Today, I told my mom I wasn't doing very good mentally and I was looking for some support. She decided to remind me of all of the things I still haven't paid her back for. I'm now an unpaid loan, not her daughter. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I called my mom from Australia. I have been abroad for two months and hadn't talked to her in a long time. A few minutes into the conversation my moms stops me and says this call must cost a fortune and hangs up on me. A few bucks in more important to her then me. FML
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Top comments
toaster012 17
Wow. She's very cruel.
Keevarou 17
Looks like she is the one who deep throated a cactus, she's really stingy. But you should try and take it as high as you can and see If you can get the money back somehow, good luck OP and sorry to hear about how unlucky you are with family
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Comments (192)
arkin5 4
Soooo ..... Did you deep throat it?
simsgirlgem 25
And then Grandma didn't get to see the grandkids until she did trust me that usually works when my older sister and mom fight bad enough my sister won't let my mom see her kids until she does whatever is needed last time it was anger management classes
whY402Jay 12
Put liquid LSD on her vibrator.
thehowiie 6
your mother-in-law has the quite way with words, if I may say so myself.
AnimeBitch 14
Sounds like Benny.
pattayarick 8
THAT was a job for your spouse, not you.
jal0320 3
OP, I can sympathize. I have a psychotic ex-mother-in-law that is so irritated by not being able to control me now that I've divorced her equally psychotic son, she's taken me to court the last 2 years demanding "Grand Parenting Visitation Rights". Unfortunately, I had a complete dolt for a lawyer, and she won. Now she's fighting for more time as, apparently, 1 weekend a month, 48 extra hours during the Christmas season and an entire week during the year isn't nearly enough. Good luck!
Kaylan_Paige 6
Better start deep throating
chosha_fml 27
If your wife can't sort it out (her family, after all) then write the money off. But don't ever lend more. And if you have kids, you and your wife might want to cut contact altogether. A grandparent like that will only do your kids psychological harm.
ratorr2 23
I think the lesson learned here is "don't loan money to family members".
Himlagott 14
Lend.