Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML
Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting out, "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML
Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML
Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML
Today, my mother-in-law called to find out how the first week of school went for the kids. She spent most of the call complaining about her husband. I'd like to send her a bill for her trying to use me as a therapist. FML
Today, I called my mom for the first time in a few weeks, just to chat because I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are you calling? What's wrong? Do you have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, and I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML
Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML
Today, I told my mom I wasn't doing very good mentally and I was looking for some support. She decided to remind me of all of the things I still haven't paid her back for. I'm now an unpaid loan, not her daughter. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I called my mom from Australia. I have been abroad for two months and hadn't talked to her in a long time. A few minutes into the conversation my moms stops me and says this call must cost a fortune and hangs up on me. A few bucks in more important to her then me. FML
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Top comments
toaster012 17
Wow. She's very cruel.
Keevarou 17
Looks like she is the one who deep throated a cactus, she's really stingy. But you should try and take it as high as you can and see If you can get the money back somehow, good luck OP and sorry to hear about how unlucky you are with family
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Comments (192)
Rihaan 4
Your mother-in-law is a badass. You should take her to court, though.
Himlagott 14
I'm feeling you. I've been there. Don't show her she got to you, that'll just make her more confident. Cesar Millan tought me how to handle mine... that, and finding out some information about her that makes her more prone to cooperation, if you get my meaning.. :D
Wealthyparrot 9
Call the police, bring her to court. She'll pay you back rather than deal with the hassle. Then tell your father (or mother, idk if your parents are straight) that if he or she ever wants to hear or see you again, they need to get rid of their *****, or "talk" some sense into that bitch with a stiff hand.
JayDiggy95 5
What a bitch
DorkAlert 10
Is it time to sue yet?
misfortunate17 6
I were you, I'd buy a cactus and deed-ass her on it.
TcheQ 12
Mmm yeah. Take her to court dumbass instead of wasting time writing an FML
mjzgirl1995 6
Take her to court.
darkfireflame 15
Judge Judy.
ThirteenThirteen 27
You should've replied, "Been there, done that" and then pestered her for the money.