Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML
Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML
Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML
Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML
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Top comments
WinterPerfection 3
I can just TASTE the disease!
SkardeyKat 3
Well, according to her logic, your immune system is being boosted as well. I believe a thank you is in order, she's pumping up your system to defend against super-bugs!
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Comments (140)
WinterPerfection 3
I can just TASTE the disease!
daysgoby902 6
it does...
jizzwold 21
Ya it does actually boost your immune system. The problem would arise if she has some horrible disease on her hand.
Meowingtons500 18
Om nom nom nom.
gunmania0 12
Sounds like she's been boosting your immune system too!
blackheart24 10
Just stop Taking showers and say it's to boost her sense of smell.
DrDilllonReese 12
Just inject her with AIDS blood and say you were helping "boost her immune system."
rawrriri 8
I barely ever wash my hands. I haven't gotten sick in over 3 years.
MizzErikaHart 8
Right, so she doesn't wash hand before preparing food....so give her aids. Anyways, op, cook ur own food, problem solved..
CrizzyCream 1
That is still gros
blackheart24 10
61- I think aids is a pretty good trade for not washing...
DJJuantioFresh 0
AIDs weakens it, "doctor"
blackheart24 10
Ooooo 76 nice burn. Props man. 50- torched!!
mystifisvt 4
Yummy.
pyromania21 0
dude no shit u dumb ass I think he was bein sarcastic and u missed it
DrDilllonReese 12
111- yeah. That was why I had quotes around the part about boosting her immune system...
rolltideonyoursi 2
exactly.
TwoZeroOZ 2
I don't understand how it would boost HER immune system... It would definitely help anyone eating her food... But then again, eating dirt will help too.
saxy1of6_fml 9
That's just gross
jdog1231 0
yuckshe needs to move out
Spoonz 4
This feels so weird but... Girl, get OUT of the kitchen
Nutty4Muffs 3
Ohh ho, aha-ha-ha.
zyperman43 19
What did yuckshe ever do to you?
saIty 17
Well we know who's not going to be cooking on Thanksgiving.
shrimp1234 4
She planned it that way
Waggleton 0
It's the turkey, the turkey will not be the one cooking Thanksgiving meal because it will be the one getting eaten. Simple deductive reasoning my friends. Your welcome
LaughinStock 16
77 your pic goes great with your stupid comment :)
SkardeyKat 3
Well, according to her logic, your immune system is being boosted as well. I believe a thank you is in order, she's pumping up your system to defend against super-bugs!
bossroyd 4
And it adds flavor
chickenwalrus 14
with a sprinkle of possibility of incredibly infectious disease.
thebeautybleeds 17
Exactly. She is boosting your immune system. You shouldn't complain until you get sick. :3 Though while it's her personal choice, and exposure does help acquire immunity, if you're not comfortable with it, cook your own food.
22cute 17
Typhoid Mary?
misslc 4
Maybe it's time to start doing your own cooking...
GirlWithName1324 0
And if you cant cook worth crap then.....Microwaveable meals are in isle 3.
zuzupetalsYO 11
Microwave food makes you fat
rabbittboi 18
98 - Ready to eat microwaveable meals may not be the healthiest choice, but they don't make you fat. Over eating and/or lack of exercise makes you fat.
CookieMonstr19 0
Uhmm..time to go brush ur teeth! :)
x_KL_x 7
You could try, have fun and let us know how it goes.
nc21690 19
ewww id prepare my own food from now on and tell her what soap is........
EmAnRap 2
Next time tell her youll cook. Go to the bathroom before hand and dont wash your hands lol
KunoKanashimi 3
...But then OP would be doing what she was doing, it wouldn't effect the roommate in any possible way. (Except to 'boost her immune system' and the like.)
KunoKanashimi 3
...But then OP would be doing what she was doing, it wouldn't effect the roommate in any possible way. (Except to 'boost her immune system' and the like.)
thatsvintage 6
Imagine all of the things she's done with her hands just to have them handling that chicken she probably made for you the night before.
Epikouros 32
Stop complaining, you should be happy a roommate cooks for you. Enjoy her home-made mayonnaise!