Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while watching a news clip about NASA's Mars helicopter, Ingenuity, my wife asked me if Mars has a sun. She was serious. FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML
Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML
Today, on vacation my wife asked if I wanted her to take my picture. I realized it was the first time in our 10 years she had asked me that question. Moments later I realized it's the first time in my life that anyone's ever asked me that. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML
Today, my mother told me the sun was the largest planet in the solar system. When I told her it was a star, she accused me of lying. We had to bring Google into this. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Well, the Death Star is.
Welshite 40
Why yes, yes they are.
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Comments (184)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Why yes, sweetheart. And the sun is just a giant lighter."
james2398 6
Well techanally it kinda is besides the metal part just the flames but it basically fusion in the sun OMG I sound like a nerd on fml too sorry it a habit of going off and blabbering
BlowinChronic 18
Being a nerd, you're doing it wrong.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
YDI for marring a three year old. She is three right, and not a full grown adult?
Bekll 31
You're insulting the three year olds.
Welshite 40
OP didn't mar a three year old; I don't know what FML you're reading. Oh, you meant MARRIED. Either way, marring or marriage to a three year old is illegal.
davidd8806 1
^funnier than the original post this is commented.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
No the only one you left out, and the only one that makes since. Marrying.
Welshite 40
Since??? Really now... It's SENSE.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
You might want to google what you put. Then you would figure out what sense and since is.
Welshite 40
Better yet, I'll put them into sentences. Perhaps you can use your limited intelligence to decipher their meanings. A)Since when do you have to act like an arrogant idiot? B)You, sir, are sorely lacking in common sense. Do you see the difference yet?
CharresBarkrey 16
Holy shit, this is gold! This is going on FailBook, 112. You're an idiot.
viper_dlh04 1
That's when you explain a shooting star is when they fall out cause they weren't tied down enough.
igese 11
where exactly did you meet her?
crimsonlover4 31
I'm guessing not at a planetarium
Pleonasm 36
How come we don't ever see any botched jobs like with the people who put up those billboard posters? Like a starry night but split with openings that leak out daylight. "Hubert! You had ONE JOB!
Acik91 26
Well, I guess she's pretty. Or very kind at heart. Or even both. You obviously didn't marry her for her brains.
Bliss391 7
I remember my teacher telling us there is no such thing as a stupid question, my teacher was apparently wrong.
Bekll 31
There are no stupid questions, only stupid people.
Bliss391 7
Who ask stupid questions .
Bekll 31
It's a quote from Mr. Garrison of South Park. :)
Sai_Run614 7
The only way for her to really know is if she flys up in the sky at night and grabs one of them.
P374RD3D 9
Yeah, I thought so too. Turns out it's just weather balloons.
Welshite 40
#52: They do screw up sometimes. Over the years, they've forgotten to paint in a star here and there. In order to explain the lack of professionalism, they had to come up with the "death of a star" concept. We're so gullible, we didn't question them.