Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML
Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML
Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Today, my mom and dad were talking about how if I lost weight, I would be attractive and have guys all over me. My dad said, “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” It took me a while to realize they both think I’m ugly. FML
Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML
Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted, "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!" I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I didn't think I'm fat. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
beerpong26 0
hahahahahahaha
wtf_fml 0
oh, gosh. dads are always so sensitive.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
beerpong26 0
hahahahahahaha
ALEX920 0
agreed! hahaa
wtf_fml 0
oh, gosh. dads are always so sensitive.
suyci 0
first: HAHAHAHA EPIC! xD second: too bad for you, but you might aswell lose some weight?
Jeremy_M 2
Ouch, that was harsh.
Hacksaw 4
Your dad sounds awesome. Consider yourself lucky for having a parent with a healthy sense of humor.
Tygastyle 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Thats the funniest ****** thing on here. your dad kicks ass.
lazorzpewpew 0
TOO GOOD! :D Your dad rocks!
xdodge 0
I'm sorry but thats hilarious
d_dh2310 0
haha your dad has a great sense of humor, and probably meant nothing at all by it :)
Addy_fml_fml 0
Your dad sounds like my new best friend