Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML
Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad, so we went to the edge of a cliff to relieve ourselves. He peed and it came and hit me in the face. He did it on purpose, so I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML
Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
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Top comments
matrael 0
I hope you whooped his ass for that little douche move. You tried to be a friend and was nice about it and got sucker punched for your efforts. Douche bags like that need an ass kicking to help them realize how much of a little bitch they're acting like. Have fun
Jewelofagal 2
With friends like him, who needs enemies? Consider breaking off this "friendship" before he does more than hit you.
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Comments (69)
Tnofic 0
mm, yes. I can see why you'd want to hang out with him.
FarSide 23
Skip anger management class. An old-fashioned ass beating with a hickory switch will change that behavior fast. And if it only makes him madder or more violent, the you resort to Plan B... a hickory switch about the diameter of your thumb. Or, appease him like so many liberal thinkers do and give him some leftover Halloween candy corn.
EmmaElaine 0
Candy corn ftw. :]
AnthonyD86 0
Roid rage much?
perdix 31
Don't laugh -- hemorrhoids can put you in a really bad mood.
perryscherry 0
Hilarious perdix, just hilarious. I mite wanna love u:)
DrPluton 0
I distance myself physically, mentally, and emotionally from friends with anger issues until they are resolved. Thankfully, I have only had to do this twice, and both friends are much calmer people now (one took anger management courses and the other went to Iraq).
Anteezy 7
woah before everyone gets all judgmental the OP and his friend might be 6years old in which case this is perfectly normal! if the OP is any older than 6years old then YDI and you need to use your brain when you choose "friends".
T_ZaDdii 0
haha!!! damn... lol... did you go to the hospital for dat??? llol.. see but thier rite, if i hadda friend like dat, wat enies huh??? jus fight him
HJB 0
Why are all the FML's so funny today? Amazing
chellinha93 0
I know right??? I was just thinking about that, lol
perryscherry 0
Hilarious perdix, just hilarious. I might wanna love u:)
alex_vik 1
Is your friend by any chance one of those special needs kids?
jess7788 0
ydi, you should have expected this reaction.