Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML
Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML
Today, at my all-night senior party, I was talking to the blind girl who I haven't had classes with since 9th grade. I unthinkingly opened the conversation with "Nice to see you again." FML
Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML
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Top comments
rhanana 0
Idea for using a rejection number and not having the guts to just say how you feel to his face :/
smiller0789 3
Rejection hotlines should be reserved for creepers and douchebags, at least give decent guys that you just aren't interested in a wrong number and not a you-suck-at-life number.
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Comments (221)
dirtyhose 0
i have to be at work in a couple of hours, im not going back to sleep. And lol mag just wait until you start paying rent, it sucks. Try doubling all of your monthly bills plus what you already pay D:
MAGNAVOX 0
I can do my own math, but thanks anyway:)
kaycoo 0
MAG just keep telling yourself im a real boy
IReadAlotOfFmls 0
I'm safe. I'm livin free ATM so sucks for you (:
toyotasmash 0
YDI, try not being a ****** juvenile next time
dirtyhose 0
lol jonni youre 16??? I thought you were 12, no kidding..
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
goodie for you.(:
dirtyhose 0
okay mag well thankyou, i will stop being such a bitch since jonni seems to be the only one still with a problem. And ireadalotoffmls, that actually sucks for you because we dont know what the hell youre doing to live free, but that must mean not as much freedom and thats the best thing about living on your own.
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
lol i don't have a problem sweetheart, you create them for me(;
mailelala 0
Umm my dad lived in Korea for most of his life (he's 50, moved here in his 30's) and he speaks English with no issues. Please think of a better excuse. Especially considering the fact that most phones these days autospell or suggest the correcting spelling of misspelled words.
IReadAlotOfFmls 0
Ermm for your information ages only known English for 1 year vs 20 years so step off
dirtyhose 0
Thats goody for me that i know that 16 year old girls in america sometimes act 12?
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
sorry but how have I acted 12? lol
MAGNAVOX 0
Actually, that is common. Ok enough of this!
dirtyhose 0
lol mailelala, my phone doesnt have auto spell on the internet, i dont think its necessary to spend about 300 to 500 dolllars on a phone that does all of that shit, i mean if it is an issue, feel free to ignore what i post, it is a free country after all.....
FFML_314 12
Seriously, please stop replying now. It is highly annoying when these comments are all over the place.
kaycoo 0
does the pedobear like feet or kids a bear with a foot fetish is funny but the other option is... not funny at all discusting