Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML
Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML
Today, at my all-night senior party, I was talking to the blind girl who I haven't had classes with since 9th grade. I unthinkingly opened the conversation with "Nice to see you again." FML
Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML
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Top comments
rhanana 0
Idea for using a rejection number and not having the guts to just say how you feel to his face :/
smiller0789 3
Rejection hotlines should be reserved for creepers and douchebags, at least give decent guys that you just aren't interested in a wrong number and not a you-suck-at-life number.
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Comments (221)
dirtyhose 0
Lol mag got me on that one, but a sense of humor goes a lot further than what youve got going on, and my english isnt so well, im from Germany and have only been speaking english for about a year since ive been over in us.
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
lol English is a mandatory language in germany. 3rd grade little hittlers are learning English right now.
MAGNAVOX 0
Foreign exchange?
dirtyhose 0
But thank you for correcting my spelling, now i will remember how it is spelt. Too bad i cant correct your poorly written "hilarious" comment about tiger woods since none of it makes any sense.
MAGNAVOX 0
Anyone who wishes to correct my Tiger Woods comment go right ahead because this person does not know how!
dirtyhose 0
and jonni, i assure you that i am not blind and there is no reply button on my phone, you are losing your lid over something very petty, get over me not having a reply button on this because its not doing any good bitching about it :/
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
you are blind i'm on the website replying to you. and the only one bitching is you my dear.
dirtyhose 0
I was homeschooled for your information because my parents traveled, i came here with my husband for his job and he already knew english. Maybe you should ask me before trying to be all "smart" and be an asshole..
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
sorry that the greater population of young'ins are in regular school. call me crazy for following a statistic.
MAGNAVOX 0
You are smart for following a statistic.
dirtyhose 0
mag, my husband spoke fluent english and lived in your country for half of his life, and he even make sense of it. and jonni, wow youre just a lost cause, who are you to say i dont have a reply button on my phone? All phones are different and youre not breathing over my shoulder double checking for me so just stfu, where the hell is the ignore botton?
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
sorry sweetie but the Internet is the same everywhere. and there isn't one(:
MAGNAVOX 0
Well go ahead and tell your husband to re-write my comment the correct way.
IReadAlotOfFmls 0
Hehehe............. Pedobear. (:
dirtyhose 0
Couldnt make sense of it** excuse me, it is 3 in the morning, im half asleep, just saying this before you all attack me for that since thats all you seem to be good for. Do any of you even have jobs or a car? Or even pay bills? Lol it really does seem like im talking to children on here lol
FFML_314 12
SHUT UP!
MAGNAVOX 0
I have a job, I pay my phone bill and insurance bill, and my college tuition. Happy? I am not a child anymore.
dirtyhose 0
jonni, again, i am NOT ON A COMPUTER. am i speaking english to you???? Im on a cell phone and you are making yourself really stupid because youre steady trying to say i have it because all phones and computers are exactly alike, wow youre a ******* dumbass.
MAGNAVOX 0
Dirtyhose, just go to sleep.
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
cool, verbaly assaulting a 16 year old. I bet your husband is proud. and if you could read English, you would see that the Internet is all the same my dear. I never said phone(;
kaycoo 0
To dirtyhose i am also using the net on my phone as its my only way i can get on the internet *tear* and i dont have a reply button either its so sad i almost crapped my pants crying about it jk but seriously i dont have one either
dirtyhose 0
he has fallen asleep, but he would probably re write it by just deleting the whole post and writing something that makes any sense. Tiger woods isnt cute, he isnt a college professor, so how the hell does that make any sense? Because hes a pervert? Even if he was a professor and cute it still wouldnt be funny, but i mean, if you think its funny, more power to you for finding humor in your own jokes :)
IReadAlotOfFmls 0
ermmm, excuse me ma'am? it's called a joke so calm down.
MAGNAVOX 0
Hahahahahaha welcome to America, where minds can speak freely:) Tiger Woods happened to be on the news as I posted my comment, thus his name became my guess for the FML.
IReadAlotOfFmls 0
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!........ Pedobear (: