Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I spilt boiling tea all over my stomach and left leg, so I went to the hospital to get it checked out. They said I wouldn't be able to expose it to the sun for the next two months. I'm going to Barbados tomorrow. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
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Top comments
mpsteve137 15
Duh it didnt work. You forgot to add the mayonnaise.
greenwich1945 13
Your coworker sounds like a dick.
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Comments (195)
DrBlack 9
I'm guessing your talking about 'American' style mustard and not the real stuff?
KBeatz 5
Woah now, cool guy.
shikai214 2
How dare you, sir! ;)
whiterabbit420 4
I'm not a doctor, but I do work in a kitchen, burns happen, I've heard everything from butter, egg whites, tomato, garlic... Never heard mustard. But it sorta makes sense... The acid helps kill bacteria and most people keep mustard in the fridge so it's cool/ cold. I feel like you would have probably gone to the hospital mustard or not OP, FYL. Personally I run my burns under cool water for 3-4 min
Fonze13 0
Water only works when the bern is in it it takes the pain away but when you take it out it still hertz.
hecallsmedarlin 7
Where did you go to school at? Lol
hecallsmedarlin 7
Btw; talking to 78..
whiterabbit420 4
78- burns hurt, fact of life. People just expect micracle treatments that will instantly heal it and take away all the pain. It's still the best to cool it down, and keep the blisters intact. If they pop, keep it clean and dry till it heals
ohmandapants 17
111- "where did you go to school at?" I could ask you the same question. "Lol".
kbt13 0
Cool water and toothpaste bro, not mustard...smh
I_heart_sex 1
That's it!
KiddNYC1O 22
Toothpaste works.
crywf312 4
I bet your coworker is mexican huh lol I remember those times too
Jumpingmal2 7
Who the F*** puts mustard on their burns? I've heard of putting toothpaste and vinegar and salt but not mustard. But hey, at least you smell good enough to eat
ShayMarie99 15
It works, it's happened to me before.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Cue the HotDog loving zombies!
janey123 0
Hot dogs don't smell good, unless you like the smell of old dog insides.
brandon3747 16
Wow coworkers are weird
Snafuusmc 12
Let the feast begin.
latenitekid 5
i like hot dogs
THE_A_TEEN 28
Me too. Especially ones that are smothered in chili, cheese, onions, peppers...excuse me while I go in the kitchen.
llamafish 25
Dammit THE_A_TEEN, you made me start salivating. Excuse me while I break into your kitchen.
Treig 3
We used mustard and vinegar for burns up at Subway. The mustard just felt better cuz it was always cold from being in the fridge.
ICastillo 25
Your an Oscar Mayer Weiner!!!
destinee95 0
I like your dog
destinee95 0
:)