Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago, a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill, causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML
Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML
Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
toxicsauce 10
At least you've got people telling you you're hot. I'm not even close to that... Lmao
sweetest_jenn 18
Everyone knows the best breasts are deep fried.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
toxicsauce 10
At least you've got people telling you you're hot. I'm not even close to that... Lmao
ohcheriecherie 20
did they even call her hot? I thought they were just mocking her for burning her tit.
AnOriginalName 19
#1, would being the opposite of hot make you cool?
TheTacoMan 24
Unless you are room temperature #22 or you're as cold as ice (Foreigner anyone?)
toxicsauce 10
Awww thanks :)
Zebediabolical 45
Why are you racist against your right breast? Huh? Huh? What did it ever do to you?
zevo1415 10
What's wrong with you?
incoherentrmblr 22
#2, It's Prejudice, not Racist. Get it right...
aimzskee 30
No. Just no.
icnburbbygrl 23
You've got a "hot" bod...get it??
abhi95 31
Tell them you'll use your fiery boob to burn down the hotel if they keep this up ;P
thxnder 14
Where did you get hotel from?
xNotCreative 13
This is a sure fire way to get beat up at work.
abhi95 31
Right.. Where did I get hotel from? O.o Oh well!
kylieh72 25
I can't imagine how this happened at all. What kind of a situation would lead to the spilling of hot oil on your boob of all places?
Warmonger_Smurf 29
I'm going to guess you've never set foot in a kitchen.
RedPillSucks 33
@TheFapMaker Ok, I feel weird that this caused some arousal "She was stirring her mixture of deliciousness within..." "Scored on her boob" "burns on my ass..."
kylieh72 25
I've actually set foot in a kitchen thousands of times 34 and have worked in fast food. It just happens that at work I've never been undressed and had hot oil above me. Thank you 14 for a not asshole response to a perfectly reasonable question.
mufasaniqqa 13
lol dumbass
sweetest_jenn 18
Everyone knows the best breasts are deep fried.
sweetest_jenn 18
Dammit now I'm craving KFC. Extra crispy with a side of gravy.
cakefete2 31
No, Popeye's. Some spicy breasts and biscuits.
91hayek 31
As a guy in a workplace situation, how do I offer assistance to a female coworker who has burned her boob? I find this very awkward at the least, and feel like nothing I do will be appropriate.
sweetest_jenn 18
You can start by not calling her "toaster strudel" lol. That'll be enough.
kasmol 16
It is always important to determine if the burning breast is natural or augmented. A silicone implant under heat can release toxic fumes. Unfortunately, a fuming implant can result.in Toxic Titty Syndrome.
RedPillSucks 33
Lol, I was hospitalized for secondary TTSD!!!
whys0serious 12
How about simply asking if she needs anything. It's not always necessary to label an unusual but nonetheless normal situation as awkward.
cartedor 18
best course of action has to be pop those babies out, and air them out to cool down for sure
ihavenolifehaha 16
Just take it as a compliment
singer0421 32
I really hope there's a guy at your workplace who can bake... The girl on fire and the boy with the bread. ... I'd ship it.
xuneventful 12
definitly!
syed121417 22
This is the best reference ever
Pussycat86 18
Isn't this verbal sexual harassment?
sterling1113 15
Maybe if you're overly sensitive and can't take a joke, I suppose it could be if OP threw a big enough fit. I hardly find that necessary though. They seem like they're all friends if they're making jokes like those.