Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I spilt boiling tea all over my stomach and left leg, so I went to the hospital to get it checked out. They said I wouldn't be able to expose it to the sun for the next two months. I'm going to Barbados tomorrow. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
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Top comments
mpsteve137 15
Duh it didnt work. You forgot to add the mayonnaise.
greenwich1945 13
Your coworker sounds like a dick.
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Comments (195)
BelleIsa_fml 6
If your coworker seriously thought it would help, I don't see why this is a FML
gloria89108 1
Rotflmao !!! Not at the fact that you hurt yourself !!! It's just the way you told the story !!! I hope you feel better soon !!!!
doumtabarnack 12
Just so you know in the future, aloes heals burns, not mustard
SluggerJ 7
Your an idiot for listening to your co-worker OP.
Quikraptor 8
you're*
THE_A_TEEN 28
I wouldn't challenge someone's intelligence while making myself look like an illiterate chimpanzee.
elmousey 5
Right, since you have to be an English major to know things are idiotic. Why just the other day I was thinking how stupid it would be to pour acid in my eyes. But then I remembered I am bad at writing, which makes that argument false.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Oh yes, let's all tiep lyke tis 2 cal oter peple stoopeed, ten we wil shew tem how smarty we r.
RKD 23
Oh, man, hope it gets better soon-that must be agonizing-the only (though painful) upside is, the more it hurts, the better it is, because that is a shallower burn! Good luck!
SexiMamita91 3
My grandma always used to put either tomato sauce, ketchup, or toothpaste if I got burned.
vicky_reoow 1
i can be your hero baby, i can kiss the pain away!
hecallsmedarlin 7
Wtf?
livinginabook 24
It's from a song
chipperj6 4
Now all you need is some relish
Chris9154 6
Ydi for being dumb. Why would mustard help? Cool water my friend
wbaca8 0
Hey! Mustard works! It works wonders when i am cooking at my job.... Idk what kind of mistard you used but my burns stop hurting almost immediately