Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I spilt boiling tea all over my stomach and left leg, so I went to the hospital to get it checked out. They said I wouldn't be able to expose it to the sun for the next two months. I'm going to Barbados tomorrow. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
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Top comments
mpsteve137 15
Duh it didnt work. You forgot to add the mayonnaise.
greenwich1945 13
Your coworker sounds like a dick.
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Comments (195)
JaysFanStu 3
Common sense didn't prevail, eh? Putting something spicy on a burn?
RandomComments 6
*searches for DocBastard's funny comment*
kbt13 0
Riding d*ck is quite unappealing my friend
_overandout_ 10
Maybe she just likes the smell of hotdogs and will do anything to achieve it.
pvtdaniels 1
Mustard is the best thing to use next to toothpaste it draws the heat out and keeps it from blistering
Fonze13 0
Toothpaste really dose work
SammyS2012 21
My family uses mustard for burns. It's just some type of home remedy that some people feel works. I don't use it though
pilar21 7
Your coworker sure is a wiener.
Arrawyn 12
Yum, burns and mustard, my two least favorite things in the world
raraisbang 12
Mustard actually does work for minor burns. Minor being the key word here. It relieves some of the pain.
dhumphries 9
Why would you even believe that?