Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, the bladder infection I thought I was over flared up at work, causing me to piss myself, despite having gone twice in the previous hour. I still had to finish my shift, soaked pants and all. FML
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Top comments
X_Gon_Giv_ItToYa 9
I'd be pissed
yerawizardlizzy 27
I guess I'm kind of confused. Every medical facility I've been in has had private toilets for patients; it's just you and the toilet. I kind of understand pee anxiety when there's a bunch of stalls and people coming in and out, but I've never seen that in a medical facility. It's also disconcerting that the staff allowed you to try for two hours. After ten minutes I would have knocked on the door.
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Comments (23)
DanielleinDC 34
How public is this clinic restroom? Just about every doctor's office I've been to has single-stall restrooms so people can provide samples or use the facilities.
dontknow1 19
That would've pissed me off.
CliffyB03 28
They have these containers that go right under the toilet seat, so you don't have to hold the cup there. I'm bladder shy too, and it was way more relaxing to do it that way.
BananEnigma 24
They call them "hats" where I am. I used them all the time for my samples until they decided they were too unsanitary :( now I get pee all over myself every single time.....
chazic300 11
ugh I hope they have a hand blower and a sink
Bearsmomma 30
Hopefully OP had enough left in the sample cup and could just go home.
Jillene 8
Urine for a wait !! :)
ForceIsWithYou1 1
In the wise words of Billy Madison: "You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants"
kikimiko 7
You could ask for blood work instead due to your issue with urinating in public
LiquidGoldRose 19
Blood work does make a urine sample unnecessary. I recently had both a blood test and a urine test, simply because a urine test can detect things that blood cannot - e.g. whether the kidneys are correctly reabsorbing glucose and protein.
toddlerteacher 6
I too have a shy bladder. I've avoided applying for jobs who drug test because I won't be able to produce a sample, especially if I know someone's waiting for it. I've never done drugs. For the doctor's if I have an appointment requiring a sample I'll pick up the cup beforehand and do it at home.
Jenadpantano 7
Theres a youtube video that's all water noises like waterfalls and rivers. I can't pee in medical restrooms or quiet bathrooms. Since motion sinks are everywhere, you cant run them anymore, either. :( Good luck next time OP!
WatDaHail 13
You can try holding your breath in, forcing your body to release the fluids. Then you wouldn't be in that same shyness ever again in public.