Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, the bladder infection I thought I was over flared up at work, causing me to piss myself, despite having gone twice in the previous hour. I still had to finish my shift, soaked pants and all. FML
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Top comments
X_Gon_Giv_ItToYa 9
I'd be pissed
yerawizardlizzy 27
I guess I'm kind of confused. Every medical facility I've been in has had private toilets for patients; it's just you and the toilet. I kind of understand pee anxiety when there's a bunch of stalls and people coming in and out, but I've never seen that in a medical facility. It's also disconcerting that the staff allowed you to try for two hours. After ten minutes I would have knocked on the door.
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Comments (23)
domolovesyoshi 33
How do you people do this? I'm really sorry, it sucks that you had to smell like pee.
X_Gon_Giv_ItToYa 9
I'd be pissed
manofmerr 27
I hope the nurses didnt get pissy at him for spilling it after the long wait.
pstackz 14
man, i wouldve been pissed at myself.
Vintage_Cola 29
I bet you pissed off the doctors! I'll show myself out...
yerawizardlizzy 27
I guess I'm kind of confused. Every medical facility I've been in has had private toilets for patients; it's just you and the toilet. I kind of understand pee anxiety when there's a bunch of stalls and people coming in and out, but I've never seen that in a medical facility. It's also disconcerting that the staff allowed you to try for two hours. After ten minutes I would have knocked on the door.
Dale_shackleford 13
Yeah, and after maybe 20 minutes they would probably give up.
Bearsmomma 30
Typicall, these people are on the office making multiple trips to the restroom, rather than being locked in with the toilet for 2 hours. I once had a job running drug tests. We would supply the person with lots of water and wait it out.
PepaSpray54 2
I'm glad you got excited. that's a first....
jrdxix 7
At least you managed to! Moral victory...?
IcedTaco 12
Looks like urine a lot of trouble there, OP. I just couldn't help myself.
Cow_Girl_Lilly 24
That's stinks! I can't imagine what it's like not being able the go in a bathroom. But I hope you get better OP
Zilten 10
Urine sample? I haven't heard of that Pokémon
manofmerr 27
I dont know who voted you down or why, but i shall attempt a partial fix of the issue after im done cackling. I might be a while.
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
I like the phrase "trying to catch a urine sample". Makes me imagine that someone is peeing at you across the room (or maybe over the stall door) and you're trying to "catch" it in a cup!