Today, after driving to three drug testing clinics that were approved for my job, each one declined me, saying they don't do testing anymore. Now I have to drive another 25 miles to see if someone will say, "You're clean." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Today, I went to do a drug test for a new job. While I was there, they said the job was part-time with no insurance. Previously it was supposed to be full time with insurance. Now I have to take a job that pays $20,000 less a year. FML
Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML
Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
Today, after constantly checking my email for a week, I finally got a letter saying that I was accepted to take a test for a job position. The only problem is I was scheduled to test today, eight hours ago. FML
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML
Today, I had my very first interview and pretty much got hired right away. Then I found out I have to drive 2 hours away for training. I don't have a car, license, or money. FML
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Top comments
fonkimonki 7
If only you had some way of communicating with these places at a distance. I suggest you use... hang on, my phone is ringing, brb
doemetoch 28
If for some reason your job needs you to do a drug test, shouldn't they at least be able to give you up to date information on where to get one, and then preferably pay the expenses? Or is that not how this whole drug testing-thing works? So weird that they even ask for such a thing.
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Comments (27)
domolovesyoshi 33
Wow that sucks I mean gas isn't free.
yerawizardlizzy 27
It isn't?!?!
Lalala579121 28
Damn I wonder how much I owe with all the farting I do.
fonkimonki 7
If only you had some way of communicating with these places at a distance. I suggest you use... hang on, my phone is ringing, brb
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Telegrams! They're the future, I tell you!
bellydancer82 15
Lol ikr XD after the first place not working out, OP should've just called. Way easier. OP probably used their phone to look up said clinic's locations, too...
doemetoch 28
If for some reason your job needs you to do a drug test, shouldn't they at least be able to give you up to date information on where to get one, and then preferably pay the expenses? Or is that not how this whole drug testing-thing works? So weird that they even ask for such a thing.
Dale_shackleford 13
It's not super weird that they asked for a drug test depending on what the job is, but that's not the way any companies I've heard of go about getting people tested. Usually you would give a sample at the place and they would send it in to whoever they chose.
doemetoch 28
It does seem super weird to me as this is not something we do in my country, but I've heard it's pretty common in the US? Kinda creeps me out tbh, but I guess when you're used to it, it seems normal.
chocoladisco 1
I am so happy this isn't legal over here. Kind of infringes on your privacy. Let people take whatever they want in their free time as long as it doesn't interfere with their work.
zeffra13 31
Any employee of the city has to pass a drug test as part of their physical, at least in California. Many other jobs require it too, & may require testing after work-related accidents. For example, 6 Flags requires testing if a golf cart gets damaged while you're out with it.
crudeandrudeguy 29
13- I drive a tanker truck loaded with crude oil down the highway. Would you really want me driving around stoned, or would you prefer they infringe on my privacy a little?
Colon_Man 17
*we crash into each other* Hey! You got your oil in my bearings! [I haul bulk auto parts :) ]
princesskammm 20
It does suck that clinics closer to you don't test, but I really don't understand why you aren't calling to find out first.
peachykeen93 17
Most jobs do the test on site, that's pretty different.
ronbach 8
it depends on the job alot of the time. Some jobs want a more thurough test to be done. For example people who drive company vehicles.
Smiley_70 22
i have had to do drug tests / medical and employer always booked me in and paid
captain_hero89 22
Shouldn't your employer book the test? That's how it work here
chazic300 11
I don't know about where you are but here we can buy certified drug tests at the pharmacies if you can there buy one and get your employer to do the test.
DanielleinDC 34
Does your potential employer know they don't do testing anymore? And why didn't you call the clinics first to make sure they could see you?
cheshireau 26
*if* you are clean? You don't know if you have taken drugs recently?
Aethereal 14
If they will find someone who actually gives the test, not if they are clean...