Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML
Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while walking home with my friends. As I was struggling to breathe, they thought I was attention-seeking and left me on the floor. FML
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Top comments
juanaranda1015 4
at least you didn't get robbed. hope you get better
mozeltov 7
Rick rolled
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Comments (255)
juanaranda1015 4
at least you didn't get robbed. hope you get better
rawrlily 0
Blame Rick. He's the one who got you into that mess. DAMN YOU RICK.
mozeltov 7
Rick rolled
BaconDave 12
To do list for OP: 1. Get some pie 2. Find "Rick" and kick his ass
garrettsgirl 0
who is this rick??? he sounds like he needs an ass kicking!
urdirtyolduncle 15
YDI, Rick!!
bigmanj28 0
Where do you think his self-esteem went?
daisyloo 7
Awwww, hope you can breathe soon!
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
Today, my best friend and I went out to beat up the guy who told my wife I was having an affair. We found him and began repeatedly axe-kicking him in the chest. several minutes into it, we realized we had the wrong guy. FML.
stringking21 0
today I read on FML that two people are looking to kick my ass FML
countrygirl81 9
I want to know what Rick said that got him repeatedly axe-kicked in the chest.
imaberry95 0
well it could have been worse, they could have thought you were a dick!
dreamering 16
Considering that you look like Rick, find him and tell him not to kill people in the future.
whitesox365 0
damn you rick! youre stealing the attention from john's fml!
Metal_Chick 15
Damn poor Rick everyone ganging up on him; it's not his fault the people that wanted to kick his ass got the wrong guy. But then again I hope they get Rick for running his mouth, no one likes snitchers.
DboyCorleone 0
Shouldnt look like that asshole rick. Nah I'm kiddin how they didn't break your ribs
Termites 15
Today, I wasted 10 minutes of my life reading the comments on an FML about a guy who got mistakenly jumped. I then commented with an FML of my own that you chose to read. My name isn't Termites. FML
dolphincheddar 10
I foresee an fml. "today I was jumped by 3 guys" john should form an alliance and make them teach him to axe kick! :O
OwN3d3d 0
60- Rick stole it?
katiedoll6 7
Hahahaha woopsie
cold_heat1321321 4
oh man sorry. that sounds horrible
volley4eva1698 0
team up with them, find this 'rick' and teach him a lessoonn!
imthatguythatdid 0
Rick!!! you said you wouldnt let me down!! Well you failed, RICK bastard
iSitt 0
he's not Rick james, bitch
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Ahahaha. Dave Chappell
teh1337 1
Well that sucks. also what is an axe-kick?
awkward_turtles 1
Nyan Cat!!! ;)
Juliaa15 6
It its when you're swinging and ax, but instead of that "chopping" motion, it resembles a leg kicking something. it's almost as if the ax is a replacement leg.
shenaniganry 3
How did he get axe-kicked in the chest? Sounds like an awkward movement.
mooshibear140 4
It's when you raise your leg upwards and then swing it straight downwards on your heel. LOL I don't know if I described that properly but I'm a black belt in karate so I try my best. :P
rkcxenocide 0
Karate is for *******. I took TaeKwonDo for 11 years and am still taking it. I also have been learning MMA for 6 years. In MMA I learn: Muay Thai, 10th Planet System of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Pankration, Judo, Wrestling, Sanda, Boxing, and Krav Maga.
kwchambers92 10
karate...weak
mmedeiros14 0
way to show off 41
manofwill2468 3
agreed but not in a.mean way 77
asoptavlo14 6
Agreed with 77 but in a mean way.
xleanne_aLly 23
agreed with 77, but in a I-don't-give-a-f*ck way.
19eightyeight 4
agree with 77. but in a non-agreeing way.
whitesox365 0
agreed with 77, but in a waiting for the combo breaker way
yohooooooo 5
agree with 77, C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! happy now?
Yreffoeg 0
I can't see your face 137.
rogerusmc23 0
137.. that is the blackest mother ****** I have ever seen. the one in your pic.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I agree with 78. Like a rebel. And btw 77 CHANGE YOUR PIC BEFORE YOU GET KILLED BY A CANUCKS FAN!!!
dudeitsdanny 10
You know.. Knowing what an axe kick is, I have to wonder if OP used the right name. It's hard to axe kick someone repeatedly and quickly enough to not let them get a look at him, or let him do something.. Out of all kicks, I have to say that this is on the top most awkward to do quickly. I would have gone for a hook or side kick myself ;P
x_messyjessy_x 0
137 pic is actually scary
Snowstar 0
Out karate place calls it a hatchet kick, since axe sound too much like- you know. you bend your knee in, covering your groin, then swing up and smash down with your heel. Very powerful.
TheresNoEffingwa 7
how the **** did you get that pic?! lmfao I took that and I only sent it to 1 person smh. oh your comment is shit btw
cc_the_beast 6
axe kicks are difficult to do quickly and effectively, but they are so powerful. It is a kick from TaeKwonDo, lifting the leg high, knee partly bent, when the leg is as high as it can go, flick the leg down, hitting with the ball of the foot or the heel. Badass.
Failed_Again 0
194 is that a boy and a girl or two girls? Sorry I'm curious :D
shenaniganry 3
Where the dick is 41's comment?
BShady96 0
also wheres 137s picture?
dudeitsdanny 10
196- Other types of martial arts do it, too. I learned it in karate and tae kwon do.. Back when I could lift my leg that high and not risk never having kids.
BringMeTheHorizo_fml 0
lmfao ^
yohooooooo 5
well to all of you who don't know.. I am the "blackest ************" "the ghost" and what ever else you people come up with..
ydnar 5
Hey so am I #40 see anybody can say that.
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
237- if you didnt smile, the picture would just be a floating shirt
Destabilized 0
In, out. In, out...
Juliaa15 6
Sex comes to mind...
freddyisepic 2
lol
wtfjess 10
Err this didn't sound like breathing to me. O_O
flockz 20
afterschool study sessions with dr. big hands comes to my mind.
Outsider_77 0
98- that would be "push!" followed by a series of unintelligible shrieks
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
A Awkward situation normally ending with the commenter in an awkward position comes to mind.
Destabilized 0
Win.
Destabilized 0
160- Wow, that was quite accurate. o:
NickCassell 2
Why did you do it, Rick?
Emster689 0
5, your exprestion in that picture is the exact one I pictured u doing when u said that :P
LNK112 5
47, your expression in that picture is the exact same expression I pictured you doing while replying to his comment.
manofwill2468 3
......
asoptavlo14 6
Owned.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
75 your expression in that picture is exactly how I pictured you taking a picture would look like.
NickCassell 2
161, my expression in my picture shows the utter confusion of trying to understand what the hell you guys are talking about...
ThisGi 0
FYL
Diogi4363 0
here's what you do, find this rick and punch him in the throat, then find the guy who axe kicked you and tell him that revenge is complete, reach out a hand as if offering to shake, then when he grabs it pull him in and knee him in the lungs.
dabears4life 0
hahaha epic revenge
Acaprice14 9
Now you have a reason to find and kick Rick's ass with them! FEEE FYY FOO FUM
rhealey 3
awesome profile picture just sayin
ribbyc80 0
doode, epic pic!!!
LakersFanatiC 3
Haha you shouldve kicke them fuckfaces like Bruce Lee
alex6946 10
well that might have been a little hard since it was 2 guys and he can't breath..
dudeitsdanny 10
Bruce Lee used to take on a dozen guys at once! Even while bleeding.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Bruce Lee can out-roundhouse Chuck Norris. Just sayin'.
truehitman2010 0
ydi for looking like the guy that Rick rolls you
manofwill2468 3
hhahahaha
eckawecka 3
you're stupid for even saying that
noelykins1 19
I think you just meant to say YDI for looking like the Rich dude. lol I was thinking that to myself as I read this FML. Oh by the way whoever presses YDI for this FML just wanted to think they were funny and press YDI on an FML where someone was a victim of an assault that wasn't even meant for that person. Either way those boys should be put in juvie or something. For attempted assault/ assault and battery lol I like to sound like I know what the laws are (; Though in reality it's just my opinion.
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
167- just because you said that I will press YDI
nocanhaz 4
Go beat up Rick with them? I don't know I'm bad at giving advice.