Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
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Top comments
nnnope 26
urine trouble now
TourettesGuyFTW 26
20- your pun is crap, and it stinks. Try again, I hope number 2 is better.
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Comments (70)
nnnope 26
urine trouble now
naxeeb 33
Hope you don't re-pee-t it!
ladyLALAA 29
I bet you were really pissed off!
nnnope 26
it's better to be pissed off than pissed on unfortunately OP was both
kiwienne 21
I pee-ty you
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Gee whizz. Urea idiot. For renal.
Roskosity 22
Aww poo...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
20- your pun is crap, and it stinks. Try again, I hope number 2 is better.
byFate 5
Damn that would put me into a pissy mood
i_h8t_everything 12
Just give me a wee moment to fix my zipper
naxeeb 33
Drinks lots of fluid and then start over maybe? O_o
morella_xx 29
I think having to come up with another urine sample is a lesser problem compared to indirectly peeing all over himself.
M_Rainbow 7
I suggest “squeeze”
gc327072 31
"You heard me; SQUEEZE…THE LEMON."
ironichalibut 24
Somehow? Admit it, you wanted a golden shower with a bunch of nurses around. You could always drink as much water as possible without vomiting and wait a bit again too, as annoying as that is.
SasaCeceGogo 18
Brace yourselves, urine puns are coming.
ironichalibut 24
Avast ready the lemon colored water levies!
Shenanigans9 8
Brace yourselves, urine for some bad puns.
lolfood 24
Do those jokes piss you off? Urine trouble then.
Epikouros 32
Don't worry: if you can't pee, the nurse will simply ram a blunt needle through your dick in order to pump the piss out of your bladder.
SMHsohard 22
Ok, to clear up a common misconception, a catheter is not a needle, it's a length of flexible tubing used to drain urine from the bladder. For rude or ignorant patients, we like to use the garden hose sized variety. And, oops, forgot to lube it.
monnanon 14
seems a bit extreme for a urine test. cant the paitents take a cup home and hand one in later or return to the clinic another day rather than getting a catheter in.
ekb777 13
If they took it home I think there would be the chance that people would submit urine that was not their own. They probably could just come back though
SMHsohard 22
#43-Yeah, that's not going to happen for a routine physical. 2-3 glasses of water and a 20 minute wait should do it. Moral of the story: don't let yourself get dehydrated before you have labs done; even if you're supposed to fast, you can drink water. Makes things a lot easier.
monnanon 14
when i went for a routine physical i was able to take the sample bottle home there was even once that they sent it out to me so i could bring it in with me when i attended the docs next. must be different rules over here. i think the threat of a cathater would have me filling the sample bottle rather quickly tho.
CharresBarkrey 16
If it's not a drug test they will just send you home with the cup. Getting someone else's urine wouldn't help you if you're being tested for an infection.
SMHsohard 22
51-I've actually had it happen, especially with surgical patients. Mention "catheter" and it scares the piss outta them. Or, maybe it's the evil laugh, who knows?
Sandsh8rk 36
That's piss-poor performance from you.
M3DIC4T3 29
I'd hate to see what would happen if OP was required to give a feces sample.
lalala1896 6
You're in a wee bit of trouble
abirdgotshot 13
Now that you are done in by p. Get back in q, perhaps another 20 minutes will do the trick.
zombieladi 14
ask to reschedule
monkeyy100 15
Time to go back in the restroom again! LOL