Mind your own business

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

Soapy

Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I…

Today, pearlescent liquid soap squirted all over my white pants while washing my hands. I have 6 more hours of work looking like I jizzed myself. FML

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

So sweet

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

Nice mental image

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML