Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML
Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
Today, I'm so single, I signed up for a free consultation on an LGBT arranged marriage site. FML
Today, I decided to try an online therapy site, seeing as I have been feeling very lonely and don’t have any friends to talk to about my issues. After filling out all the initial forms, the site told me there was no one available to speak to me. FML
Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML
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Top comments
sLap_fml 0
it just means that your perfect match hasn't signed up for that website, and that you will meet them another way : )
vonswede 0
The same thing happened with my mom. Eharmony told her she was too selfish to find a match.
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Comments (157)
ModernDayHippie 0
Don't feel too bad. The same thing happened to me, except it's been over a year without any results. And me and my current boyfriend, who I met through a friend, are very happy.
kalebb 0
did you tell them you're like a swedish asian jewish hermaphrodite or something? anyway, this is hillarious.
squeaky_fml 0
I hope you didn't pay. Try eharmony. It's expensive, but actually works.
squeaky_fml 0
#55 I met my current no-strings-attached sex partner on eharmony. We have a lot in common. We both enjoy gardening, hiking, cooking, and having kinky sex four times a day. It's fantastic and absolutely worth the money I paid.
abcdefgh_fml 0
This is a sign that the person that is meant for you doesnt use online dating!!.... i guess go out in the world and find someone who is right for you!!!
ahhgingers 0
Maybe you're the only cool person on that site.
djtelekinesis 0
Hey, you're unique, good for you. Any girl I ever meet who I would deem dateable seems to be always either taken or uninterested in dating.
TVC15 0
Seriously? Who cares what an online dating site randomly spews out as an answer to some quiz?
Taardvark 0
I heard that eharmony doesnt match you with anyone if you put that you are athiest...lol
Dave010897 0
u arent insecure, and u dont lie about urself, cuz u really want a real soulmate. Be happy, and know ull find some1 somewhere else. :)