Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Today, my cat regurgitated his food right on top of a heating vent located on my floor. Now the whole house smells like hot vomit. FML
Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, I came home to the vilest stench I've ever smelled. I had to open a floor vent and scoop up the turd that was inside. Funnily enough, today was the day my scumbag roommate moved out, but I'm sure he had absolutely nothing to do with it. FML
Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML
Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML
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Top comments
IorvethTheXolo 8
One of the handiest things I have done with my dogs is teach them to barf in the bathtub. If it's just hunger pukes (just the yellow bile), you can just wash it down and if it's actual vomit, it's easier to clean up, then you wash the residue down the drain. Whenever they make that awful noise that tells you they're going to barf, you make a big fuss and rush them to the bathtub. It's kind of like housebreaking them as puppies. My boys will hop in the tub without being told now. Barfing doesn't happen often, but when it does, they'll even warn me when they feel it coming if there is a closed door between them and the tub. That way, in situations like the OP's, you might come home to a gross surprise in your tub, but at least it won't be on your carpet or in the heating vent or somewhere hidden for you to discover later. It does take longer to teach since dogs don't barf nearly as often as they go to the bathroom, but they do pick it up quickly.
WCARlover 35
At least you have another place to stay! The smell of vomit is the worst
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Comments (17)
WCARlover 35
At least you have another place to stay! The smell of vomit is the worst
moo77_fml 20
It's a dogs life :(
zaidthunder1 27
Are you taking your dog with you?
SpyroMello 29
Why wouldn't you?
soulreaper12296 28
No #3, OP plans on leaving their dog home alone with noone to care for it for a few days while they wait for house to air out.
IorvethTheXolo 8
One of the handiest things I have done with my dogs is teach them to barf in the bathtub. If it's just hunger pukes (just the yellow bile), you can just wash it down and if it's actual vomit, it's easier to clean up, then you wash the residue down the drain. Whenever they make that awful noise that tells you they're going to barf, you make a big fuss and rush them to the bathtub. It's kind of like housebreaking them as puppies. My boys will hop in the tub without being told now. Barfing doesn't happen often, but when it does, they'll even warn me when they feel it coming if there is a closed door between them and the tub. That way, in situations like the OP's, you might come home to a gross surprise in your tub, but at least it won't be on your carpet or in the heating vent or somewhere hidden for you to discover later. It does take longer to teach since dogs don't barf nearly as often as they go to the bathroom, but they do pick it up quickly.
Raxy_fml 18
do you never feed your dogs? they should never be so hungry that they're throwing up bile.
kirkaygri 18
I wish I'd known about this trick with my dog. He has a reflux problem with no cure and is a regular vomitter. I'm an empathy puker. It's a life long conditon. He's 10 now. It's a fun life full of hardwood floors and no rugs.
DeadxManxWalking 27
that's actually a brilliant idea, gotta teach that to my future dogs along with going to the bathroom in the toilet
smokecloud_ 37
My dog doesn't puke often, but I try so hard to get him to at least puke in the kitchen. I'll gently lead him, no scolding, and he still insists on puking on the carpet instead of the linoleum.
hellphone_fml 37
That is so smart, I make a huge fuss and let my dog outside, so now he only pukes in the grass. My cat on the otherhand refuses to throw up/hair ball anywhere else but in the middle of doorways so you step in it.
KaylaRocksss 7
That's why my dog goes everywhere he can with me and if he's not with me he's in my room in his crate with his blankie, his bed, and his ball. He has awful separation anxiety and will tear things up or throw up everywhere and do all kinds of different things that I don't want him to do out of stress/being upset that I'm gone so being in my room where it obviously smells very strongly like me has made a huge difference for him and then having his den AKA his crate to get in has made it much easier for him and he is much happier just in general.
prettygurl89 16
Awwww that sucks! Welp, at least you get quality time with the moms :)
False_Stupidity 42
Uh, with such a drastic reaction to the smell, I can't help wondering how you managed to clean the puke out of the heat vent, because if you didn't, the airing the house won't do anything.
sturschaedel 27
I'm a mother of two with a very strong sympathy puking reaction to vomit smell. The way I manage to cope with cleaning up vomit is this: I douse a scarf in a strong perfume and tie it around my mouth and nose. Masks up the smell perfectly. And I've very early started to teach my kids about puke buckets. They know to use the nearest trash can if they can't reach the bathroom in time.
wow2mylife 25
My aunt and uncle dog puked in one on there rv vent before and they have to pay extra days in the cabins when it was air out while it air out they was going to leave the next day
thunderniron 22
Turn the system off, pull the cover and pour some lime powder down the vent. The lime will dry out the vomit, killing the smell and making it easier to clean out of the vent.