Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I sent my fuckbuddy a sexy message about what I wanted to do in bed with him next time we meet. He responded with, "oki doki". FML
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
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Top comments
hellohottie69 0
maybe he didn't see your message
LolaD18 1
Maybe drum, eBay and monaaaayyyy are all synonyms for something else? :D
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Comments (121)
hellohottie69 0
maybe he didn't see your message
Doomire 0
or maybe he is a farking douchebag
fatalkiss 0
Farking?
markymark1429 8
maybe you just have to get better writing dirty messages? or maybe it was full of innuendos and he simply didn't get them
seximexi911 10
maybe she just sucks at the whole dirty texting game lol
imlagginglol 0
*drum roll*
chino627 0
25 I wish I took a picture with captain planet lol... but yeah maybe she doesn't now how to sext
abbasiathar 0
123456
abbasiathar 0
test this
robbiboyo 0
Or maybe he just knows money is also very sexy.
Drigr 9
and if he had told you to get over there and take care of his needs then you would've written an fml about how all your boyfriend cares about is sex and didn't even tell you he was gonna make some extra money off of his drum set.
Kn0wledge123 21
^^^This
SunDropGirl 0
good point 76
LolaD18 1
Maybe drum, eBay and monaaaayyyy are all synonyms for something else? :D
iSitt 0
op provides the sex, bf provides the monay. old as history itself
NYC_Yoshi 3
isn't cash like Viagra for you female types?
1naenae95 5
yes...sad but true. :P
andrew_thomson 9
your boyfriend wins!
tsim_fml 0
u win
passief 0
he knows it : family before money before bros before ho'. bottom of the chain, deal with it
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
Lol how is your life ****** because of this? :P just wondering...
RavenDesired 10
Ahahaha xD
Darcon 8
lol! Monaaayy!
IbanezSprinter 0
maybe he didn't get your message?
foever 0
什么意思啊，看不懂。
fatalkiss 0
Um, okay? He obviously hadn't seen your text at the time of sending his. Or just not gotten yours at all. Chill the **** out.
lulututu 4
I think you are the one that needs to chill,
fatalkiss 0
Okay... let me rephrase that. Since his text had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with your well thought-out, sexy sext, he must have not gotten it at the time of composing/sending his. Also, take into consideration that his text wasn't a 1-, or 2-word text, also showing that yours probably came to his phone while he was composing his & he just sent it before even looking at the new one from you (the well thought-out, sexy sext).
NYC_Yoshi 3
cat fight please :)
LaughinStock 16
lol right! but it didnt happen :(
abbasiathar 0
cash to not be.
Cupcaken 0
if that's the case, he probably would have responded after seeing it, and then there really wouldn't be any FML.
NianRakluz 0
35, You assume too much. Chill.
Taurusbaybe 8
I think it's safe to say he's more interested in Makiiin' Monaaaay!
xtacticalswarmx 0
Money DOES make the world go 'round. Not geo sync orbit! lol. Give me money any day. [=