Today, I was shopping for pillows at Bed Bath and Beyond. My husband playfully picked up a pillow pretending to start a pillow fight. I grabbed the largest pillow and chased him with it. When I finally caught up with him, a manager came around the corner. I was escorted out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML
Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
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Top comments
lovelyliz916 5
Lol, who cares at least you had fun!! :)
justsayfuck 5
Guess you are an exception, posting a FML while seeming happily married. Keep on having fun!
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Comments (63)
lovelyliz916 5
Lol, who cares at least you had fun!! :)
MarkSeattle 0
lame. there's a difference between having fun and acting juvenile.
quepasaguapo 10
Oh hush. The world doesnt have to be so serious all the time. Yeah, theres a time to joke and a time not to be, but its okay to be silly sometimes.
corytheboss 0
^agreed and your really pretty :)
ChubbyCake 5
OP the world isn't going to end. At least you will be able to come back to the store. Last week I got into a fight at the mall. I am not able to be in the mall or else they mall manager with call the cops. I can't even be in the parking lot:(
stopreadingmynam 0
17, ur hot
bh0p 0
17 I find you beautiful too, but wonder about your lack of clothing O_o anyway 25, what the heck please people stop flirting over FML and OP haha I hate Twitter, but days sumthin to tweet about.
SillyEars 0
how is this an fml????
Skroal_stomper 5
25 U need your eyes checked. She is overweight. She is not hot because she posts a pic of herself with very little covering her. She is not attractive at all.
Demotivator 2
Not an fml, just sounds like fun. People who can't loosen up bother me... ur husbands a lucky guy.
DenBriZel 31
She's not attractive because she's "overweight"? What kind of egotistical thing is that?! Get your head out of your ass.
Carlie_McCartney 1
how is this an FML? haha this should be on MLIA lmfao
justsayfuck 5
Guess you are an exception, posting a FML while seeming happily married. Keep on having fun!
quepasaguapo 10
LOL sounds awesome! I personally like to go around the computer store high fiving people with a plastic hand.
jazmixer 0
you should have told them you were just testing them out for your sorority slumber party.
rawrcookiemonste 5
awww fyl! make friends!
rawrcookiemonste 5
sorry wrong fml... awks
Canucksftw24 6
I only thumbed now this comment cause you said awks
mintcar 10
It's a store, not a playground.
corytheboss 0
get a life
DocBastard 40
Get a, um, color camera. And a shirt?
blahzz 4
Good times.
Xavi89 0
you fail! jump off a bridge!
l3allin_all_day 0
I get kicked out of places everywhere I go
squirrelman 0
me to!!! lol:) but where is the fun in life if you don't right! LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!!