Today, I sent a Snapchat the girl I've been flirting with all week. Her response was the back of her Coke Zero, which had the quote "You've Got a Friend in Me." I got rejected by a soda can. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I didn't think this sort of thing actually could happen, but I somehow sent a Snapchat message to the guy I have a crush on that was intended for my BFF. The message read, “I can’t wait to see him tonight, he’s so cute, I wanna lick his face off.” Said crush hasn’t responded. Yet. Or even ever? FML
Today, I asked my crush out, after a year of liking her. What did she do? She laughed, took a screenshot of it, and sent it to her friend. FML
Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML
Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, a girl on my Snapchat list posted a story asking for anybody who was awake to talk to her. Me being awake, I took her up on the request. Her response? "Sorry I didn't mean you." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
Today, I confessed my love to my crush over text. Later, she posted the message I'd sent her on Facebook and wrote "look at the pathetic man". The post had over 50 laugh reacts. FML
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML
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Top comments
MetalxSoldier 26
I guess you "can" say you have "zero" chance. Fyl
danm_1 28
It's okay to start out as friends. Perhaps she's just not ready for the whole relationship as yet or perhaps you never made it clear enough to her what your feelings are. Be her friend, get to know each other more then see what happens after. If she still only wants to be friends, then yeah it sucks for you, but respect her wishes and try and move. If it's not her, then you will eventually find someone who can reciprocate your feelings. Now I'm going to try and get that Toy Story song out my head. All the best, OP
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Comments (40)
MetalxSoldier 26
I guess you "can" say you have "zero" chance. Fyl
Skycop_S 23
Don't know whether to hate your pun or love it
Miss_Whipped 43
I hate to love it.
Sora_McKain 36
I love to hate it.
crudeandrudeguy 29
Sounds like a pretty epic friend because this girl is definitely awesome
danm_1 28
It's okay to start out as friends. Perhaps she's just not ready for the whole relationship as yet or perhaps you never made it clear enough to her what your feelings are. Be her friend, get to know each other more then see what happens after. If she still only wants to be friends, then yeah it sucks for you, but respect her wishes and try and move. If it's not her, then you will eventually find someone who can reciprocate your feelings. Now I'm going to try and get that Toy Story song out my head. All the best, OP
AnthraxPrincess 18
I agree with everything you said. I was completely oblivious to my boyfriends feelings for me and always said how great a friend he was and posted on social media about my "best friend" all the time. Everyone thought he was "friendzoned" like crazy. One day he just grabbed my hand and was like "I /like/ you" and I was like "oh, why didn't you say that? The feeling is mutual." And here we are almost a year later. All hope is not gone OP, and even if you can never date her she seems like a really nice girl with an awesome sense of humor. You're lucky to have a friend like that.
LyricaSilvan 30
The people downvoting your comment are more than likely guys who got friend zoned and are pissed off because they didn't get their "happy ending."
soullyfe 33
12: My assumption is that some people are probably wondering why she didn't say anything first rather than waiting until the guy said something since she also liked him in return.
thawny_fml 21
Also, contrary to popular belief she doesn't owe OP shit for him being nice to her.
annalily5 28
If he doesn't legitimately value her as a friend, than I really hope he doesn't do that. It's one thing if he hopes something more will come, but honestly would be ok with being her friend too, but it's really sucky to pretend to be someone's friend only to disappear on them the moment you realize you're not getting in the person's pants.
John_in_Oz 12
If she doesn't owe him shit then she shouldn't give him shit.
Enderman1323 8
You must be REALLY fun at parties
Monday_funday 25
Ah big hugs OP. But at least you get to be friends with an awesome person
Elgrin 15
Friendzone level: Epic.
Jaraxxus_fml 15
Ouch. Are you sure she was cool with the flirting?
angelnursery 18
ohh yeah, there's this guy who's always flirting with me even though I keep rejecting him be turning him down, and he's told me that I friendzoned him before.
Jaraxxus_fml 15
I suppose there's a fine line between persistence and stupidity, huh?
RememberSchlitz 9
Plot twist: she sent you that while she was having sex with one of your friends.
Crossing 17
I guess no one noticed the play on words?
DeadxManxWalking 27
well I mean if you look deeper you can be "in" her as a friend.
Lalala579121 28
Nah man, she shared a coke with you. And according to all the commercials that means you're going to be together forever.
acmariner99 25
I give her a point for being clever