Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Kristen 10
Why would you kill it with your bare hands?!
s0m3guy2010 21
How does someone mistake a sharp pointed object with an 8 legged arachnid. You are not the sharpest tool in the shed, although a hammer might have been nice.
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Comments (136)
lajaynay 15
Please stop defending your stupidity. You're making it worse.
castrosabeast 7
I'm confused! Jesus is Canadian? What a hoser!
teresa96706 29
XD read midnight's profile. She herself live in the US and calls herself "intelligent" *sarcastic* I like her IQ
cBlackout 13
Poke with a stick?
lajaynay 15
Ironic, right? Haha. She's also "witty" and yet I've seen very little wit in her replies.
marpay 11
I slam them with shoes. Must squish spiders to protect the world!
Istalkrexgar2000_fml 0
1- That was the first thing I thought after reading this!
lajaynay 15
I admit to doing that too. Or, if outside, I set the bitches on fire.
victoria114 6
Sure you do...
Joshoa123 16
Friendly neighborhood spidernail.
mrahhhhh 21
I do what OP does occasionally, but only against flies and spiders (no better feeling than punching a fly on the wall so powerfully it drops dead to the floor as soon as your fist leaves the wall, but so skillfully that its still fully intact and not smashed at all). Obviously I wash my hands afterward, and I first make sure that the thing is an ACTUAL ******* MOVING INSECT OR ARACHNID!
ShyAnn29 15
I do that too, although once, a spider squished all over my hand, it was very gross!! I washed my hands about 4 times