Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, my mum vented her anger on me by shattering my mouse on the floor, taking my keyboard and nearly ripping out my monitor. At least a spare mouse and the on screen keyboard are better than nothing. This hurts. FML
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Top comments
Lolzords 11
At least the spider was ok.
redbluegreen 41
It wanted on the interwebz, obvs. (;
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Comments (79)
chippa 24
Ooh! Nice one. D: I feel your pain, man, I hate spiders hahah.
TheDoge 0
Why would you hate spiders? Their elegance is to be desired. Especially the big'uns down here in Aus. Their harmless, but huge and great for getting the ol' adrenalin pumping. Nothing like the old fight gland, huh?
timtam24 0
red-back?
thequickredofox 0
Harmless? funnel-web? wolf spider? Okay, they're not overly toxic, but very aggressive and their bite hurts like hell!
Reyo 2
@60: I'll rephrase for him. They're harmless as long as you don't **** around with them like an immature child. It's not like they go "hunting for human children to kill." They only lash out when hungry or threatened, and since "human" isn't a norm on any spider's diet, there's only one option left.
b182link 0
what the heck?
livin_plur 0
2 stupid dogs? really? dam its been years since I've seen that
akmufasa 1
poo
Lolzords 11
At least the spider was ok.
Veni_13 0
Haha, exactly.
ntherewas1 11
I never go and smash an insect...if it's small enough I just blow it away =)
redbluegreen 41
It wanted on the interwebz, obvs. (;
allmidnighteyes 11
im in ur moniturz spinnin ur interwebz http://i30.tinypic.com/34fz8m0.png
allmidnighteyes 11
thank you :]]
redbluegreen 41
I FOUND THE WEB! http://www.coldvoid.com/
allmidnighteyes 11
yes, you can :D
wtflolfml 0
well what computer are you using now?
besad_fml 0
my reaction is walking away getting a paper towel and killing it without breaking anything. works great :)
Musje 0
I wonder how you manage to break a screen by simply hitting it once... I once hit an LCD screen trying to kill a fly, it fell off the table. Apart from a crack in the casing, it worked fine (the crack wasn't even that big).
allmidnighteyes 11
FALCOOONNNNNNN PAAAAAAWNCH
Antivirus_fml 0
SPIDER PUNCH! :P
intoxicuunt 0
ffffffaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeee
allmidnighteyes 11
o hai, stop ripping off other FML members' names for your own kthnxbai ♥♥♥
intoxicuunt 0
what?
elchapin562 0
Donkey punch
Silverill 0
wow, i'm running my computer with a 6+ year old crt monitor and it's still running and i'm glad i'm not the monitor cause all the beating it has taken from me kinda 2 bad i use my fist.
JarJarBinks_fml 0
How hard did you hit the damn screen? Spiders aren't alloys you know
Soup_fml 0
I'll never understand why so many people seem to be offended by the mere existence of other creatures. It's really not hard to capture a spider in a container and toss it outside. They're even kind of cool if you can resist the urge to squish everything and instead take a minute to look at one.
thequickredofox 0
Win! And if you're smart, you leave a couple of nature's little mozzie catchers in appropriate corners of your home. Although funnel webs and red-back should be escorted outside in tupperware carriages asap!
timtam24 0
i got really sick from a mozzie bite when i was 8, i was in hospital for about a week. So whenever i see one of them i'm gunna make sure they pay.
thequickredofox 0
#24 speaks the truth: I'm more afraid of mozzies than I am of spiders (even our lovely toxic ones). We have giant mozzies - Hexham Greys and they carry Ross River virus and all sorts of lovely viruses, not to mention hurting lots when they jab you :( Kill the mozzies, save the spiders.