Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Kristen 10
Why would you kill it with your bare hands?!
s0m3guy2010 21
How does someone mistake a sharp pointed object with an 8 legged arachnid. You are not the sharpest tool in the shed, although a hammer might have been nice.
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Comments (136)
Miss_Kristen 10
Why would you kill it with your bare hands?!
construction 7
Why not? Makes it more satisfying lol
LiyIa_fml 8
Well... At least you don't have spider guts all over your hand...
rexgar2000 10
well isn't that smart.
TROLLFACEdotJPG 5
Didn't you read his name he's Jesus for god sake.
opendoorclosed 8
"I RECKON IT'S ONE OF THEM STICK SHAPPED SPIDERS, MAH!"
drawmesunshine 17
I like spiders. They eat the bad things like mosquitos and flies. And most of them are harmless to people. OP, YDI for trying to kill a spider.
ihavenosoul 4
82- the spider would do the same thing OP tried to do of it had humans in it's house.
NameTitleHere 0
Lool, I read it wrong. I thought OP used their Head! And I was thinking, " Why not use your hands?!"
fishing12345 2
You don't?
ihavenosoul 4
She uses the force to kill spiders.
worldcupcheer17 0
who else keeps getting the image in their minds?
nonye 2
Ouch!!!!!!!
Po1ntBlank 0
LMAO. His username is jesus, and he had his hand impaled on a nail. crusifcation anyone?
Ninjasaurus18 9
That's what I said.
banman12321 6
Owned?
lerouxmaster 7
Nailed.
piehunter1 0
^^ I see what you did there. :D
Bravo11 14
Jesus, I bet that hurt.
cBlackout 13
A very sharp spider indeed.
stevenJB 25
A very sharp...witted spider, If you will.
BeatlesObsessed 12
Hahaha, we have to admit that it's happened to all of us before as well. :p
construction 7
Cant say that I confused a sharp nail for a 6 legged spider
Caitlyn36 8
Uhm, spiders have 8 legs :/
drawmesunshine 17
Unless he's twice an amputee.
SteelCladAngel 0
Can't say I've ever spiked a nail through my hand trying to swat a spider. I use a vacuum, a book or a spiffy little handheld bug zapper...
tweetbaby14 18
No some of the more twisted people rip legs off of spiders.... Could even have 3 legs. And I can't say that I've done the same...
lajaynay 15
Technically... Spiders have 6 legs and 2 arms. Their front 'legs' are used as arms.
oops_im_fucked 8
Smart ass...
victoria114 6
I could bet you that didnt happen to you... I dont think many people on earth think a nail is a spider... /:s
baseballplaya5 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh what would we do with idiots like you :)
slick5880 22
You really can't be dumb enough to put your phone number in your profile.
tmmundy 17
#61...oh but he can and is, lmao. can't imagine the phone calls or texts this guy has gotten from doing this. I bet it will be a FML soon. LMAO
ReynshineCutting 10
Not to mention his email address is his name. Poor dumb kids.
tweetbaby14 18
And then your info was mysteriously given to a bunch of dirty old dudes in NAMBLA.
s0m3guy2010 21
How does someone mistake a sharp pointed object with an 8 legged arachnid. You are not the sharpest tool in the shed, although a hammer might have been nice.
BloodyMontage 0
Obviously, the nail is the sharper tool. Lol
jondivey 9
Just you and Op.
cBlackout 13
No... It hasn't....
themacuser 0
nice job, he's canadian
lajaynay 15
This was in Canada, brilliant one.