Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride on bicycles. After a while, I couldn't see him ahead of me any more. I went back and forth for half an hour but could't find him, and started to think something happened. I went home to call him but saw his bike. Turns out my boyfriend is just an asshole. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
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Top comments
plaidrabbit 0
Holy crap, you ranted for five blocks? About how he deserved to *die*?! Anger issues much?
ManiMartinixo 0
YDI for talking shit
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Comments (256)
papertigers_fml 0
5 blocks, really? your boyfriend was laughing because you deserved it, and i bet he was really glad you'd finally shut up about it!
jasey_rae 0
well, then dumb bitches like you deserve to die. and your boyfriend must be a saint to date someone like you.
RitzyHoke 0
Today, I was walking and thinking about some really personal stuff. A car almost hit me and I felt real bad because I then thought how terrible it would be if I suddenly died and my kids were all left with my wife. What's worse was that there was this bitch that ranted about how I deserved to DIE right behind me. She followed me for 5 blocks. FML
jonnymohio 2
YDI - For ranting first of all, but then for FIVE blocks?! You've got issues. Get thee to a psychologist pronto.
babyitsfact 0
you're the idiot for a. not seeing him b. actually talking about it in the first place c. talking about it for so long. if i were teh tourist, i would've waited five blocks to turn around too. stoo-pid.
purpleBerryZ 0
totally agree with #16 & #26....
whomajigi 0
If you live in NYC, no big deal, they expect this. Anywhere else, YDI. Watch your mouth. Whatever happened to people being having manners for the sake of being good people and not to get something out of it?
ineedcoffeenao 0
how could you even say that he needed to die? i mean, what the hell is your problem. if i were him, i would have slapped your ass instead of calling you a bitch. YDI YDI YDI YDI
LifeSux19 0
You're an idiot, and you deserved it. I was hoping towards the end you had got hit by a car so that way you learn to keep your mouth close...obiviously you didn't, but you still deserved it.
ogloc 0
My best friend lost his life to a drunk driver, it's not always the pedestrian's fault. Learn something in life you dumb bitch. You just pissed me off to no end, if I saw you, I swear I would not hesitate to hurt you.