Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride on bicycles. After a while, I couldn't see him ahead of me any more. I went back and forth for half an hour but could't find him, and started to think something happened. I went home to call him but saw his bike. Turns out my boyfriend is just an asshole. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
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Top comments
plaidrabbit 0
Holy crap, you ranted for five blocks? About how he deserved to *die*?! Anger issues much?
ManiMartinixo 0
YDI for talking shit
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Comments (256)
harro1337 0
How did you not notice him in front of you for 5 blocks?
Yulia_fml 0
I'd feel sorry for the tourist, but I feel more sorry for your boyfriend. He actually has to listen to you ranting about idiotic things throughout the relationship.
tyler004 0
I completely agree with your words of wisdom
dearViena 0
he called you a bitch and all your bf did was laugh?
tyler004 0
I'm pretty sure she deserved to get called that.. so obviously it's pretty funny
jayhawker 0
you deserved worse
Snerkie 0
i feel bad for your boyfriend :( to put up with such an idiot like you #27, clearly this person is a bitch for wishing someone would die
Nyuu_fml 12
Pretty lame for thinking that he can't speak English... And I don't see why you think he was an idiot. You deserved this one.
Sanrio90 8
YDI for being an immature bitch.
koda_fml 0
Lol. Pwned.
DieselGirl 0
I dont understand why people are so rude on here. I bitch about people when they are around me all the time and get caught off guard with it, Its funny as hell and well worth being called a bitch if they over hear cuz that is just the icing on the cake to whatever stupid thing they did. YDI and so do i. BUT it is funny as shit when this stuff happens. People you need to stop being so serious and just laugh a little, its a funny FML.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
you're an ass and the type of person who gives all women a bad name
MissNae 0
YDI for being a rude bitch. It would be a better story if he threw you into the path of an oncoming truck.